Anything But Ordinary

Zzzzzzzzz....

2009-08-26T12:59:00.001-05:00

Sorry for the quiet over here. I have been working on a side project...my own new blog home! I played with WordPress for the past month...Fell in love with it...and made the leap to buying my own domain and spot on the web. It should be live and ready for visitors this weekend so I'll invite you over then!

Arrrgggghhhh!!!

2009-07-02T11:23:00.001-05:00

Thank goodness the month of June is over!! I swear, May and June have been so frustrating in terms of my weight loss efforts. After my last post, I lost one pound and thought I'd have another great loss on Saturday. I almost cried when I found out I was up six pounds. OK, I did have a good cry when I was alone. I exercised, drank mostly water, and ate more good things like veggies these past two weeks and this is the way the scale tries to hurt me!

Do not fear, I will not give up! Going through my weight loss history, I have always had problems after making three or more great months of progress. I either hit a plateau, gain, or just give up. Why do I do it? I don't know...my brain likes to mess with me sometimes. Maybe I just am not pushing myself as much as before...my smaller clothes still fit...I give myself treats more often...I skip a WW meeting...one day off from working out becomes two... It all begins to add up. Arrrgh commitment sucks but I need to get my focus back.

So, it is time to get back on track. I have joined a new challenge, bought a blender so that I can try one of those Green Monsters all you other bloggers rave about, going back to beatings from Jillian by using her videos, and also changing up my food by using some of the techniques in her new book. I also will set up an appointment with a doctor in the next week (yes, I really will go this time) just to make sure I'm in good working order and probably get back on some meds that I keep forgetting to get renewed. I also need to get back to regular blogging...that seemed to help me stay accountable. So, get ready to see more of less of me around here!

Whip Me With a Wet Noodle!

2009-06-17T11:06:00.001-05:00

I am back again! Remember how I had a lovely laptop that broke and got to use another beauty while it was in the shop? Well, the repair needed is not covered and I can't afford it with dreaded wedding expenses looming. So, I'm back to using the desktop with the horribly uncomfortable chair! You won't be getting any video posts for a bit because this old bugger doesn't have the guts to handle it. I'd rather post from my iPod Touch, but I haven't found any free Blogger apps and only recognizes the title as a spot to type! I know I could send posts via email on it, but I don't like that way. I see WordPress has a nice app so maybe I should move this blog. Or just quit whining and suck it up!

Anywho, May was a total suckfest on the weight-loss front. After losing 32 pounds, the scale would not budge. I tried eating less, eating more, exercising harder, and drinking more water to no avail. I missed one WW meeting due to my sister's wedding out of town and was greeted with an EIGHT POUND GAIN the following week. My scale at home told me I still weighed the same so I was shocked! My home scale is either a dirty tease or needs anew battery. A day or two later, my Aunt Flo made a short (less than 48 hour) visit so I figured that was a culprit. But, I still am only 0.6 pounds down from that high and two weeks have passed. I am so frustrated right now!

I guess it's time to keep up with food tracking and let Jillian kick my ass more than my Wii workout rotation. That is what worked at the beginning. I have heard great things about the EA Active game, but I can't buy that yet. The scale might not like me right now, but I refuse to give up!

Also, I will post some wedding pictures with my awesome blue dress as soon as I find my camera cord or admit defeat and finally open a Facebook account to grab some of the pictures from there. Giggleman will no longer enable me by letting me peek using his account. Grrrr! I also will be back to commenting on posts soon...but I must get off this chair now!

I'll Be Back Soon!

2009-05-29T01:42:00.001-05:00

Lack of opportunities to blog has kept this spot too quiet!! I have a bunch to share with you all so I will be back soon with a REAL update!

Biggest Loser Competitions Never End!

2009-05-04T13:38:00.003-05:00

First off, I had a great weigh-in on Saturday! I was down 2.8 pounds on a doctor's scale. Yay! Why was I on a doctor's scale and not my usual WW scale? Well, I was on my WW scale first. Afterwards, I picked up Giggleman and my youngest sister to go toa the 2nd annual Biggest Loser competition kick-off sponsored by a hospital in my city. I didn't hear about last year's until too late, so I wasn't about to miss out on this one. Most of my family wanted to participate, so we put together a team. We3 still have to think of a team name...there were a few teams there who already had shirts/costumes/etc. Each person on the winning team will win a Wii.

After a couple of speeches, we had a workout with a fitness instructor and ALI VINCENT! Yes, THE Ali Vincent...winner of The Biggest Loser Season 5. After they got us into a sweat, she gave quite the motivational speech about her life before the show and now. She looks so good in person...I don't think she has gained a pound in the year or so since she won. After the event, I was lucky enough to get a picture and her autograph. Then, we all got in line for a health screening including weight, height, blood sugar, cholesterol, BMI, and blood pressure. I was hoping to see a nice difference after losing 40 some pounds since my last screening. Ehhhh, I guess the only big change was a 6 point increase in my HDL cholesterol level. I have to keep working out eating right until I can truly be out of the danger zone. The rest of the results were about the same and my blood sugar was higher (boo!!).

Before I go, here is a pic from the event! Unfortunately, this picture is only through Giggleman's phone so the quality isn't the best. I'll share some other fun info and running details in my next post!

Not a Peep in Me!

2009-04-14T09:33:00.000-05:00

Wow, I've read about a lot of Easter candy eating frenzies out in blogland over the weekend. Didn't happen here! I was planning on buying a peanut butter egg on Saturday after my WW meeting, but the stores were sold out! Seriously, I've never seen the holiday aisles look so bare before. They did have some Peeps left...Ohhhhh I detest those things! My mom always put them in my Easter basket growing up even though I didn't like them. Either she thought they'd grow on me or she was just hoping that she'd get to eat them :)

Unfortunately, I had my first gain in over two months on Saturday. I went up 0.2 pounds...based on the weight on my Wii Fit, I figured that there wouldn't be much of a change. I'm not sure why...I ate decently...exercised daily...maybe it's time to shake things up again? I should say, I wasn't sure why! My probable reason for no change reared its ugly head on Sunday. Yep, Aunt Flo decided to visit for the holiday! So, I'll wait until her bloat disappears before I make any rash decisions. I've had two great losses in a row before this, so I'm sure I'll be back to normal by next Saturday.

Moving Right Along...

2009-04-08T07:56:00.001-05:00

I lost another 2 pounds on Saturday, bringing me to over 30 pounds lost since my WW restart. Yay! I can't wait until we have another health fair at work...I'm guessing it will be in June like last year. If I get another dipstick like last year, I'll just tell him, "Dude, I've lost over 40 pounds since last year. Chill out!" Once I lose another 16 pounds, I'll no longer morbidly obese...I think that's what the Wii Fit told me yesterday. I finally have a Wii age younger than my own age too...I'm down to 28 from age 63 three weeks ago :)

Thanks to AntGirl, I have some new workout wear!! In her comment, she suggested to try JCPenney. On Friday, I decided to hit the mall and see if I could find something! I had not shopped there in years and remembered the plus-sized area as a place no then 20-something girl would find anything. Well, I was shocked at the selections available now. I found a mother lode of cute workout clothes for 50% off. With the 15% extra coupon given away at the door for your entire purchase, I saved a ton! I will have to make another shopping trip there soon.

Also, I purchased a dress for my sister's wedding that is quickly coming up in May. About a month ago, I had found a cute dress in the right color for only 44 dollars. Well, when I was ready to purchase it a week later, all the sizes except 14 were sold out online! The only other dresses that didn't look like crap were at least double that amount. I crossed my fingers and kept checking back to see if it would get restocked. Last week, my prayers were answered and a size 20 was available. I would have preferred a size 22 based on what I'm wearing now, but I figured if I lost another 15 pounds by then, it would work fine. With a 25% off coupon code, I figured it would be a good deal. My dress arrived yesterday, and I was STUNNED to realize it fit perfectly! Here's a link to the dress...CLICK...it looks like only black is available now, but mine is sapphire blue. It zipped easily and I didn't have to suck in my gut or learn how to breathe without moving a muscle. I even thought I looked cute in it. Believe me, I never feel cute, but my mind has been shifting in the past few weeks. I think all the exercise must be doing it to me...I'm still about 75 pounds away from my 2005 low, but I'm only 2 sizes away from what I wore then...in some items, I'm only one away. My body really must be firming up much more than back then. I'll take whatever changes I can get!

Workout Clothes Shopping

2009-04-02T08:42:00.002-05:00

It's payday! Time to pay some bills and figure out what needed items I can afford. Unfortunately, I'm going to have to spend a few bucks on new eyeglasses. Grrrrr!! I went into the bathroom this morning and my glasses had mysteriously jumped off the counter and were bent out of shape. Unless I have an invisible intruder, Giggleman has to be the culprit since he was the only one in there after me last night. He has this amazing ability to smash my glasses without trying! Last time he did, the optician said that my current pair wouldn't last another fix. I have the lens popped back in but the bows are goofed up. My insurance is kind of weird with vision so I have to find a different place for an eye exam and then find a cheap place to buy the glasses from the list of those that give a discount.

I also need to shop for some new workout clothes. As I stated in my last post, my pants slid off and I just cant keep them up anymore unless I rock a belt...they have no drawstring!! I only have one pair that does, so I need to do some hunting for some cheap options. I checked out my usual cheapskate spot (Walmart) and I think they are phasing out the plus size workout wear there. Why??? Target doesn't have the plus sized options like before, but I see that they do go up to a regular sized XXL in the Champion line...I think that is smaller than a plus size 2X. I may have to go try them on and hope for the best. Besides going online, does anyone know some good options for bigger gal workout wear?

Cheating on Maya

2009-03-28T21:15:00.000-05:00

I am able to post!!! Yay!! Right after I wrote my last one, I noticed that my battery on the laptop was about to die even though it was plugged in. I fiddled with the power cord for a few seconds and a puff of smoke came out. I pulled out the cord and saw sparks....ummmm not a good thing!! So, we took it in and the power supply needs fixing. Luckily, the place we bought it from gave us a loaner to use until ours back. Unfortunately, the loaner is soooo much nicer than ours and I want it. Just say no!

I had an awesome weigh-in today...down 4 pounds! I got my 25 pounds lost sticker, some funky washer with 25 pounds imprinted on it, and my dohickey for 16 straight weeks of WW membership. I joined WW in September, but I didn't stick with meetings faithfully...and officially started again the first day of the new Momentum program and haven't missed since. What is different this time? I'm not sure exactly what is making it work this round. I guess I'm not relying on Giggleman or anybody else going through the process with me. My faithful exercising has also kept me going...I don't feel like I have to hide from anybody. Even if I gain, which hasn't happened in 8 weeks, I know that I'm not a failure and I keep going.

I've had some nice exercise progress in the past week. Last Saturday, I was using the treadmill and my body wanted to try running again. I haven't pushed myself to try it since my ankle surgery in September 2007. I sure wouldn't break any speed records, but it is a good start. When I was doing jumping jacks with Jillian Michaels on Wednesday, my workout pants fell off! I've used the Wii Fit every day this week and I love the boxing part. I do not love my Wii age though. The first day, it gave me an age of 63. Ummm, yikes I'm fat and I have crappy balance, but really? Luckily, I am now down to the age of 39. Maya tries to make me feel guilty when I don't use My Fitness Coach for more than a day though...I enter in my other workouts but she still whines that she misses me. I still love her too and I think she does push me a bit more in some areas than the Wii Fit.

Time to spend some time with the Giggleman, so I'll be back again later!

Slow and Steady...

2009-03-23T08:08:00.000-05:00

SUCKS!!! I am tired of slow and steady! I lost another 0.6 pounds at my Saturday WW weigh-in. This is my seventh straight loss, which is great, but I'm sick of seeing the .6! This week I'm getting back to the basics and will be doing some careful food tracking. That is the area I struggle with the most. I also am going to ramp up my workouts a bit more this week...I've managed to get in at least 30 minutes of exercise in daily for over 3 weeks now, but I haven't done much more like I did at the beginning of the year when the scale showed big losses.

In other news, I turned 29 for the third time on Wednesday. How did I celebrate? I worked. Yay! I guess that is part of being an adult...no treats or cards at work and it was almost like a regular day. My birthday is one of the major times I really miss my grandma. Every year (when I wasn't in class), she would call me on the very minute of my birth and reminisce about the day I was born...streets were flooded on that day, huge blizzard when I was in the hospital, etc. Luckily, I was surprised by my mom who called that morning and did the same thing.

This weekend, we finally did celebrate my 31st birthday. Giggleman and I went to see I Love You, Man on Saturday after my WW meeting (can't beat the first matinee price!) and then went out for dinner later. On Sunday, we went over to my parents house to celebrate with my family. I wish I could say I was shocked that my oldest sister (the one I'm doing the little weight loss challenge with) wasn't there. She had texted me earlier in the week to find out when we were going to celebrate, but when she came over to get addresses for her wedding invitations a bit later, she claimed ignorance. Ignorance, my ass! My mom told her and her fiance to come on in while she rounded up the addresses, but they decided to sit in the car. Then, they left before my mom even gave the address list! She texted mom about 10 minutes later and said they'd be over in a couple hours to celebrate and to have dinner without them. So, the rest of us had fun playing games on the Wii we brought over. Time flew by quickly...I think we played bowling, baseball, tennis, and more for about 5 hours! When mom was cutting the cake at about 10 pm, we heard the door open and my sister quietly crept into her room. Ten minutes later, she sneaked into the kitchen and grabbed a piece of cake and didn't say boo to anyone. I stopped her and said "No cake unless you talk to me!" She said Happy Birthday with such a lack of enthusiasm. I asked her where her fiance was and she said he didn't want to come. Seriously, the whole family is sick of him and the way that Danielle is just a shell of her former self...she just lets him call all the shots...which is soooo not her regular personality at all...which is maybe why she is that much bitchier to us since she acts so godlike and sweet around him. Ha! Well, mom and Danielle got in an argument about her making so much time for his family (they go up there every other weekend) but them not even spending a minute with us, not using the wedding stamps my mom bought, and everything else. My sister stormed back into her room....20 minutes later we saw her leave with some clothes and a pillow. She refused to answer the phone and texted that she was going to spend the night over at her fiance's apartment (where she lived too until the fiance's pastor scared them out of living in sin!) Oh well, I still had fun despite Danielle's stage show.

I scored some great presents that I actually wanted this year!! Giggleman gave me the Wii Fit on Saturday night and I used it right away Sunday morning! I guess I have poor balance because the game asked me if I trip frequently! LOL! Ok, I do trip quite often but I survive. My goal is to get my Wii Fit age at least within 10 years of my real age...it gave me an age of 60 something! WTF!?!? My mom still has another present for me that she didn't get a chance to buy yet due to being busy with baby shower stuff the past week, but she did get me the workout armband for my iPod Touch (my late Christmas present from Giggleman) I desperately wanted and the first season of Pushing Daisies. I can now get serious with my running plans...I already had purchased the Nike+ sensor and a shoe pouch so I could start tracking my progress. The Touch already has the Nike+ running program thingie on it, so I am ready to go!

Unintentional Exercise!!

2009-03-10T23:51:00.003-05:00

Time for a quick post before I pass out!!

First off, I lost 2 pounds exactly at my Saturday WW weigh-in. I'm sooo close to 25 pounds lost I can taste it! My birthday goal is going to be a stretch, but I still could pull it off.

I have been kicking arse with my workouts...I have now went 14 days straight of exercise! Yay! After doing it for so long, I just feel off if I don't workout at my usual time. I hope that feeling doesn't pass anytime soon. I've been switching it up...less Jillian and more Fitness Coach and Biggest Loser this week.

Today, I got a bit of unintentional exercise which could have been the death of me! I had to scrape the ice off my windows before work. The ice was quite thick and didn't want to move and I could not get the ice off the passenger side windows. Once I got to the end of my apartment parking lot, I knew I had to scrape off the other side in order to see to turn right. So, I pulled over in a parking space and left the car running while I hacked away at the ice again. I come back to open my door...IT IS LOCKED!!! I don't know if I locked it when I got out as a force of habit or it magically happened. I really have a bad issue with locking keys or losing them somewhere! I didn't have a spare...Giggleman has them and he was at work!! My cell phone was locked in the car so I couldn't call anyone. I couldn't get back in my apartment because my apartment keys are on the same chain as the car keys. My apartment manager wasn't home so I couldn't get let in either! So, my one option was to walk to a phone and hope to reach my mom in order to drive me to get the keys from Giggleman so I could turn off my vehicle and/or get to work!

So, I walk across the street to the gym/doctor's office to use the phone. Snow starts coming down and the wind picked up so navigating the parking lot feels like I walked a mile. I use the phone but had a brain fart and could NOT REMEMBER MY MOM'S PHONE NUMBER!! All my number are stored in my cell phone and I never use my brain anymore. I try every combination I could think of and no number was right. Somehow, I remembered my mom's work number...she wasn't working and the staff member wouldn't give her number out!! ARRRGH!!! I walk back home dejected...my car spazzed out the last time my car ran longer than 45 minutes, my engine is on its last leg already, and time was ticking. So, I get the wonderful idea to walk to my mom's house. It doesn't seem that far away when I drive! OMG, after checking the mileage not long ago, it was over 2 miles away...with cold winds, light snow, and a temp of 7 F. Not my smartest move!

Luckily, I did make it there...wearing my dress shoes and sliding around quite a bit in spots. My legs were freezing but not in pain. My cheeks were quite red and my hair was a completely tangled mess! My mom informed me I was dialing their old number...yep, I'm a genius. By the time I got to the house, it was only 45 minutes before my stepdad had to pick up Giggleman from work...which was what I was trying to avoid by getting the keys before that. So, massive FAIL!

On the plus side...35 minutes of Biggest Loser Yoga, 30 minutes of My Fitness Coach cardio, and a 2+ mile hike...I had an awesome quantity of exercise!

Hiding Out!

2009-03-05T07:54:00.001-06:00

I was planning on making this a video post but somebody ate my memory card! I took it out of the computer last week and didn't put it back in the camera...I just left it on the table and thought it would stay there. When will I ever learn?

A little bit of weigh-in catchup: on Saturday, I lost a grand total of 0.6 pounds. I hate being patient with the process...wouldn't it be nice if you could lose 100 pounds overnight? I knew there was trouble when I couldn't pull off my ring on Thursday. Friday marked the arrival of Aunt Flo...without pain for the first time in years. Seriously! Unfortunately, that pain arrived this week. Arrgh! I am trying my best to push the cramping and migraine away from my thoughts this morning.

In exercise news, I am doing two different challenges this month. One of them began Wednesday of last week...40 days straight of exercise to coincide with Lent along with Fat Bridesmaid and her followers. So far, so good! I haven't had a day off since last Monday. The other challenge is the one my sister wanted me to design for us since her wedding is only two months away. She could tell I've been losing and asked me to create a blog challenge a month ago to push her to exercise and lose weight. Saturday will be our third official weigh-in...last week she kicked my butt in weight loss, but I hope to regain my lead this week. I have been kicking her butt in exercise minutes every week, but she has really pushed herself more this week so this week will be a close one.

So here's my question of the day: How much does your family/friends know about your blogging activity? Giggleman knows about this blog but never checks it out, but I'm just not comfortable with the rest of my close family members knowing all my thoughts and activities. Yet, I'm perfectly comfortable sharing it with those I've never met. For the challenge with my sister, I created a completely different Blogger account so that she wouldn't find me here. I post how much I've lost, but not my real number...I'm fine with spewing it here (284.4 as of last Saturday.) Am I odd to be more open with you all than those in my real life?

Time to wrap this baby up, eat breakfast, and fit in a workout before heading out for the day, so I'll post more Saturday!

I Love Stars!

2009-02-23T13:56:00.000-06:00

Gosh, I really need to keep up on posting over here! I've been busy working on another project with my sister in the past week or so and I forgot about being here. I'm sorry!

So anyways, since I don't have a new video post ready yet, I'll catch up with how the past two weigh-ins went. I think I'm beginning to get a handle on what my body will do, and know what to do in order to make it function better. First: EAT! Second: Move daily! I've lost 5.4 pounds in the past two weeks....3.6 pounds on Valentine's Day and 1.8 pounds this Saturday. I really expected a small loss based on my track record this week, so I'm happy!

Who would have guessed how motivating stars could be for me? Last week, I got my 5% star at WW, and this week I got my 20 pound star. Also, giving myself stars for exercise and whatnot is really keeping me moving! When I don't exercise for a day, I feel like crap and more exercise makes my body feel better. Weird! Also, I've hit a new milestone: I haven't missed one WW meeting in 11 weeks and have made it through a whole round of books without quitting. When my leader gave me my 5% star last week, she told me I need to decide my next goal. With my success so far this year, I already had one in mind. I want to hit 30 pounds gone and my 10% goal by my birthday! I've averaged about 10 pounds each month since making a commitment to exercise (AGAIN!), so I think I can succeed! My birthday is March 18th and I have 9.2 more pounds to go. I will do it!

I have to scurry off to work, so I'll be back again soon with some more to share...I promise!

Stay Away From the Yogurt Aisle!

2009-02-10T12:44:00.000-06:00

As I promised, I am back with a more detailed post!

First off, I had my first gain of the year two weeks ago. I ended up gaining 0.2 pounds due to a late night meal at McDonalds. I didn't make the worst choice...I ended up having chicken nuggets and a handful of fries before I gave them to someone else...but I could tell that I was retaining salt. This meal was only 10 hours away from my WW meeting, so I expected to see a bit of damage. I was over checking out my parents new house and trying to talk some sense into my sister who was stressing out my mom due to her Bridezilla ways when we realized we hadn't had supper yet. McDonalds was about the only thing left open besides IHOP and Perkins...we just wanted to grab something to take home. It is nice to know that one bad choice does not screw up my whole week!

Later that Saturday, Giggleman and I went grocery shopping. We never go to the grocery store on the weekend or during peak hours, but we really needed some stuff. The parking lot was packed, the aisles were crowded, and I just wanted to get out of there as fast as I could. We made it until the dairy aisle. First, the store was out of my Laughing Cow cheese...then the yogurt aisle was filled with four people checking out the same yogurt I wanted to get. I can handle pushing through to get what I want, right? Nope! I had my first panic attack in over THREE YEARS right there! Giggleman had never seen me go through one before so he didn't know what was going on. I couldn't manage to get out words, so I just kept circling and circling like a mad woman. He grabbed my arm and asked what I wanted but all I could do was shake my head. I headed out of the aisle, out the store, and was sobbing uncontrollably by the time I made it to the car. Arrgh! This week, I had almost the same problem in the bottled water section. I thought I had tackled my panic issues...evidently I need to get back to work on it.

I almost didn't make it to my WW meeting on Saturday due to car issues. I started up the car and it would kill every single time I pulled out of park. I guess I need to start paying attention to keeping up with car maintenance...most of it was due to a badly needed oil change. But, I think my thermostat thingy is messed up now too because the temperature gauge likes to go too high after a longer drive and my car heater doesn't seem to be working. Oops! I could really save money if I would just deal with things right away. Luckily, I made my meeting and was down only 0.4 pounds. I keep telling myself a loss is a loss, but I always want more. After tracking all my food for a month or so now, I can tell a pattern in my loss. My big problem is my body just doesn't give hunger signals...I never feel like eating all day...and then have a bigger meal to compensate. When I had great losses, I consciously made myself eat all meals including breakfast even though I didn't "feel" hungry. These last two weeks, I've been quite low on points and was lucky to get two real meals in. So, I'm thinking my body is holding on to the little food I give it in order to make it through my workouts. It has been pounded into me to eat all my points, but it just is difficult. Why can't my body just be happy and let go? So, I'm going to work extremely hard to get back to the breakfast and lunch routine again. I guess science does know best!

I have a fun new item that I've added to my fitness routine in the past week. I am now a proud owner of a Wii! Yay! I do not have the Wii Fit (yet), but I have been using My Fitness Coach. I used to have Yourself Fitness for the computer a few years ago, and I was happy to find Maya again! Her jumping jacks in the fitness test made me beg for mercy (I thought 30 seconds with Jillian was rough with the bouncing....but two minutes with Maya is much worse!), but I found out that I'm much more flexible than before I started the 30 Day Shred. I also rock at crunches. So Maya and Jillian have been kicking my arse this week. Maya does have some big breaks incorporated in her workouts, so I think I'll have to do a longer program to get maximum results.

Wow, I've been rambling on and I haven't even got to the most interesting info! I guess I'll save that for my video post or another regular one this week. See you then!

My Computer is Being a Douche Bag!

2009-02-10T12:05:00.002-06:00

Somehow, the post I just published went away to LaLaLand!!! The program I used to create it is frozen and decided not to save my draft. Crap! I'm going to have to be creative and write it again...

This makes me very frustrated!

Running on Empty!

2009-02-08T22:51:00.001-06:00

Gosh, I didn't mean to not post in over a week! I've been dealing with issues galore! Car problems, panic attacks, and more. Well anyways, I'm here!

I'll have a more in-depth post up by tomorrow or Tuesday, but I wanted to let you know I'm alive. Also, I have NOT fallen off the wagon! I'm down in weight...well down 0.4 on Saturday. So, as I said, I'll be back with my workout report and more details!

Vlog #3 is Up!

2009-01-27T07:07:00.001-06:00

Watch me do a happy dance! (Not really!) I'll be back with a regular post tomorrow.

I'm Late...I'm Late!!

2009-01-22T13:06:00.001-06:00

Due to eye issues and possible allergy gunk, I don't have a vlog for week 3. Sorry! I don't think any of you want to see an oozing eye that closely. I will make a longer video this weekend after my Saturday weigh-in to make up for it. Those who are part of the BLBE may already know my stats, but last week I lost 0.8 pounds even with my TOM bloat that popped in a couple days earlier. Yay! I looked at the scale this morning and I can GUARANTEE there will be a monstrous loss for this week. I hope I don't jinx it, but I think I could beat my best week loss.

Biggest Loser: Wow. Am I the only one who has been watching the YouTube clip of Jillian being yanked out of the gym by Bl/Dane (I don't know which one) and then falling on her ass? And then the whole crazy Joelle/Carla death match and Bob looking like a deer in headlights? WTF about at-home players like Dave eating all kinds of junk like fried chicken and hot dogs? Where did Daniel disappear in the temptation challenge? Jillian's team--smart move/too extreme game play too early/both with the elimination? Why must they block out logos on Jillian's shoes and clothing? Too many questions...very little answers!

Finally...starting to rethink the whole Facebook thing. My fiance knows more about what is going on with my family and extended relatives then I do based on chatting with them there. I'm a bit curious...Should I take the plunge and start an account?

Vlog #2 Is Up!

2009-01-13T09:30:00.000-06:00

Due to technical difficulties, I'm a day late! Better late than never...

Time for a quick nap so I'll be back tomorrow!

So Much To Say!!

2009-01-11T15:35:00.003-06:00

I'm so excited and I just can't hide it! Well, I'll hide my news for one more day and share it in my second Vlog tomorrow. Sorry!

In order to make this visit worthwhile, I'll share my 2nd favorite clip from SNL last night with the Legendary NPH (Neil Patrick Harris for those of you not in the loop!) My favorite isn't available anywhere.

Come back tomorrow to hear my update!

Random Freak Out and More...

2009-01-08T10:01:00.000-06:00

My left side of my body is freaking me out! Seriously, I have some oddities that have recently came to my attention. So anyway, I've been looking through my recent photos in order to choose a new profile pic. Yep, I'm getting tired of my little cartoon. Well, I have mentioned how I had the problems with the pink eye and crud in my left eye, right? In every picture since then, my eyelid is drooping more than the other side and my eye ball is all oogly. It is focusing wherever the heck it wants and doesn't match the right! What is up with that?

To add to the weirdness, I have been fighting some odd itchiness on my left side this week and it has affected my sleep! I started with a little bit of a scratchy throat...but then it moved to the very back of the roof of my mouth on just the left side is itching like crazy. I have ran my tongue back there so many times to relieve the itch that the skin is getting a bit rough there. Now, my left ear is joining in the mix and itches deep inside whenever I swallow or any other random time it chooses. I haven't ate any new weird foods, I don't feel like I have a cold or anything...did I form an allergy to something in my house? Is my left sinus cavity filled and causing weird side effects? Has anybody experienced anything like this? My left shoulder pain that I dealt with a few years ago is also back. I guess my left side is trying to secede from the lovely union known as my body. If my left leg decides to join, I'm going to really have some problems!

And yes, I did get to watch TBL without giving in and getting spoiled beforehand late Tuesday night. I'm SO GLAD to not see any money grubbing, in it for the wrong reason types emerging. I have too many favorites...I love the non whining gal on the green team, I like Dan on the orange team, I'm intrigued with the dad who had gastric bypass on the brown team, and yes, I love the grandparents on the white team. Heck, I like them all so far. I can't wait to see how hot the black team cousins will be when they shed the pounds! I was fascinated with the MRI scans done on the show. I can only imagine what my insides look like. When I had a CT-scan last year due to female part troubles, I read that my liver was fatty. My doctor didn't mention it at all, so I guess he figured he didn't need to remind me that I'm fat. Really, he's never mentioned losing weight to me once. Then again, he has failed me in the past years. That reminds me...I haven't found a new one yet!

Finally, I will be working the next couple of days to visit all the people participating in the BLBE. Holy cow...over 150 people this time...I'm going to try to at least visit the ones on my team first. Go TEAM LYNN!! I've noticed that the scale is definitely down this week and my official week one weigh-in isn't until next Saturday, so I'm ready for a nice loss for the challenge. Team Angie better watch out!

Biggest Loser Begins Tonight!

2009-01-06T14:04:00.000-06:00

Woot! Ok, seriously how old am I using the word Woot? Anyway, I can't wait to watch it when I get home from work. So, I'll have to stay away from reading blogs tonight until I finish. I love FatBridesmaid's recaps and wish I was home while it was airing live to chime in. Oh well... Giggleman always manages to give a crucial part away to me before I finish too.

I was reading on a blog about how they haven't seen Ali Vincent, winner of BL5 lately. Well, wait no longer! I received a link in my email from the Biggest Loser Club to QVC. She is now shilling healthy products! She looked a bit rounder than when she originally won, but still looks fit and healthy based on the little clip I saw. You can all check her out HERE! Looks like another book is coming from TBL..30-Day Jump Start. I never realized how many items are branded TBL...there was a food chopper, food scale, regular scale, exercise balls, and a juicer. Wow!

Thanks for the comments on my video. It was really hard to put myself out there! I'm already formulating a plan for my next video, so hopefully it will entertain you all! Time to head to work, so I'll be back again later!

Whew, I Did It!

2009-01-05T13:39:00.002-06:00

I finally got my first video blog uploaded. Yay! I just joined a little community of weight loss vloggers on YouTube, so this first video is more of an introduction than anything else. I also revealed the results of one of my goals for the years completed and some bloopers at the end, so go check it out!

I'm exhausted and have to get ready for work, so I'll be back with a more meaningful post tomorrow.

Always a Joiner

2009-01-03T23:46:00.000-06:00

It's that time of the year again where New Year's Resolutioners fill up the gyms, WW meetings, and more. When I brought Giggleman to work on Friday morning, the parking lot of the gym next door was packed!! I could see the 5:40AM Body Pump was overcrowded. (BTW, I never noticed how clearly you can see in that particular room from the road. I'm a little bit intimidated to attend a class now!) The parking lot was even overflowing when I left for work when it is usually pretty dead. I have huge anxiety issues in crowds and I really hate waiting for equipment. I may just stick to home workouts for a few weeks. Luckily, I have a plethora of videos to keep me occupied. I finally bought 30 Day Shred and the Biggest Loser Boot Camp and Yoga DVDs last week as well, so I'm set!

Also, the New Year is the time for new challenges and other options online. I will be signing up for a few of the items below.

Biggest Loser Blog Edition 2!!! I participated in the first challenge and sucked donkey balls. Seriously! I'm happy to have lost weight, but I could have done so much better. I'm signing up again, and I'm ready to really kick arse for the team this time!!
Pound for Pound Challenge: This isn't really a competition, but to coincide with the new Biggest Loser season, 10 cents will be donated to Feeding America for each pound you lose, which enough to provide 1 pound of food to a local food bank. Why not lose for a good cause?
New Year New You Challenge: Exercise TV is offering a free workout and nutrition plan to help you kick the New Year off right. The workouts cover four weeks and the food plan covers one. They also are offering daily free workout downloads. Check it out!
Discovery Health National Body Challenge: This 8 week challenge offers support, food and exercise plans, recipes, videos, and expert advice. Also, you get a 30 day pass to Bally's Fitness! (It doesn't work for me since there are none here, but I'm sure most people can find one near them.
NeverSayDiet New Year's Community Challenge: This challenge begins on Monday and lasts for six weeks. There will be daily tips and assignments, weight-loss advice, and more!
Finally, for those who love Bob from the Biggest Loser and just can't get enough support, check out MyTrainerBob! It just opened up a few days ago, but there are options to track your goals, get support from others, get fitness tips from Bob, and even ask him a question.

I think that is enough for now! I need to get back to editing my first video so I can post it by Monday. I am aiming to make it a once a week feature. I can't wait for the next BLBE to begin!!

Year End Blowout!

2008-12-31T14:04:00.000-06:00

Happy New Year's Eve! I always stay up till midnight waiting for something to magically happen...wonderful or horrible. Like all other years, I am pretty sure nothing will happen except the clock hits midnight and all proceeds as normal. Blah! Y2K came with a whimper...that was the only time that maybe something really could have affected things!

How am I planning on spending the day? Well, I will head to work like normal, pick up Giggleman, and try to make it to my parents house before midnight and see the ball drop. We used to have a tradition of going to a movie on NYE...now we just have a family get together at home with food and drink. There really hasn't been anything else to do until this year where there seems to be parties, games, and concerts galore in town. I'm a bit jealous that I have to work instead of checking one of those options out.

I'm not one for making resolutions because I have an issue with commitment and completing things. But, I have some goals for 2009. I don't know if I'll hit my final weight loss goal this year, but I have other things I want to accomplish!

Dye my hair and keep up with it when the roots get nasty! I just saw a family picture from Christmas and that bit of gray that I didn't think was so noticeable? Wrong! I have gray in just one spot so far...my bangs. This picture showed that it is a clear patch smack in the middle of my bangs. You'd think I was going for a skunk look! I'll have to get one uploaded unless my sister already has it posted on Facebook and then I'll show you all!
Find wonderful medical professionals and keep up with appointments. I've said this for months now, but I'm really going to find a wonderful doctor (I swear!), psychiatrist (haven't went in 3 years since my breakdown and I know I need help again before I crack!), and chiropractor (the one I saw a couple of times last year was just a bit too granola crazy for my taste!)
Workout 5 days a week for 1 hour. I don't care if it's in the gym, at home, outside, or on the freaking moon! It's a fact that I have let my workouts slide once the true cold hit this year. I will make no excuses and JUST DO IT!
Open up to other people more. I have a problem with letting people into my world...even my parents think I'm a mystery. When I get frustrated, I end up bottling up...and then exploding after I've hit maximum capacity. Giggleman gets showered with the spray and I know it's hurting him. (Sorry!) I haven't told family I'm trying to lose weight...I don't tell Giggleman what bothers me...I don't share deep thoughts with anyone. I started blogging again to have a way to get the bad and good out into the open. Well, when it got really bad...I went to my own dark hole and shut down. (You may have noticed the quiet in the past couple of months.) I had my explosion last week and I'm slowly crawling out of my hole, and I will work to keep that from happening yet again down the road. If I don't let people in, how will they ever know when I need help?
Find new experiences. I'm BORED! I need to find something that will excite me again. Taking the pharmacy class for work opened up my brain again. I don't know if my experience will lead me to school again, travel, a new gym class, back to playing music, or something else. But, I will explore and find something!
Buy a bike. When I was younger, I rode for miles and miles and it helped clear my head. There are so many bike trails close to my home and I'm ready to get out there again!
Stick with WW. I will not skip a meeting this year...I don't care if I ate a whole water buffalo during the week! I will show up and stay accountable.
I will prepare dinners 2-3 days a week. I rely on Giggleman too much since the kitchen is usually a fright after he makes a masterpiece. I have plenty of cookbooks, and I'm ready to try again. First, I will help him clean the mess in there so I don't run out screaming :)

I also have one stretch goal: Hit 199 by my wedding in September. Heck, I'd be satisfied with 225, but onederland would be nice!

Crap, time for work so I can't elaborate more! I'll share more tomorrow!

Is the Year Over Yet?

2008-12-30T08:53:00.001-06:00

I am so behind with reading blogs this month! Studying, eye issues, and my own blah attitude have really slowed me down. Over the weekend, I noticed my reader was up to 1000+...some posts are back from Thanksgiving. Yikes! I'm slowly working my way down the list, and hope to be clear before the New Year.

The first BLBE is done and I'm ready for a short break until the next one! I didn't come close to my original goal, but I did shed 4% of my body weight. I can only imagine what I would have gained without WW and the challenge over the holidays. I hope to do so much better in 2009 now that Giggleman is using his force for good again instead of "Who Cares" evil. Unfortunately, his success when on track also annoys the hell out of me. I can't help it...I always want to be the best, and when I try and can't, my spirit deflates. As I mentioned, he had only gained 0.2 pounds since his last time at WW. In the past week, he ate much more crap than I did and didn't workout (unless you call last minute shopping on Christmas Eve enough exercise for the week) and had an amazing loss. I was very mindful of my food and got in more workout time than usual but my loss wasn't as wonderful. My mind starts sending signals "If you can't be the best, why are you trying?" With the way my body hasn't reflected much of my effort since September, it is hard to fight that message. I am my own worst enemy, but I refuse to quit this time. I'm on a roll of actually finishing what I started right now, so I just have to keep plugging away. I know my journey will be different than others on this road...it's just hard to deal with sometimes, you know?

Enough with the gloom...I have some fun plans for this spot that I'll incorporate beginning with 2009 including back to regular posting and VIDEO! Yep, I'm tearing off my mask and will be jumping into Vlogging or VBlogging or whatever the cool kids call it. I'm finally ready to get rid of the anonymity around here. Yay! So, keep your eyes peeled!

It's A Christmas Miracle!!

2008-12-24T07:25:00.000-06:00

The reports you may have heard about me were greatly exaggerated. I am alive! I got so busy with the last week before my pharmacy exam that I didn't post at all. Sorry! I took my test last Monday, AKA THE COLDEST DAY ON EARTH! It took over a half hour to scrape ice off the windows and then wait for the inside of the car to defrost too and I think the wind chill made it 40 below. There were a few questions on the test that made me go "WTF, I recognize the word what and that's about it!" Overall, I thought it wasn't difficult. The exam rules to follow are extremely insane. I had to be fingerprinted before I began the test. If I left the room and came back, I'd have to be fingerprinted again. I had a picture taken there as well as being filmed the whole time I was testing. Geez, now how am I going to sneak my smarter twin I cloned the day before to finish the test for me? I was handed a paper saying results wouldn't be available online until December 29th afterwards. Well, I happened to peek this morning. No, I can't wait for anything except Christmas presents! I PASSED!! My actual score isn't available and is being sent by mail, but I will not have to take the test again! Woohoo!! The word passed was even in green just in case I forgot how to comprehend a full sentence. So, my life can go back to normal again.

So, since I finished over a week ago, why didn't I post again? Three words: Oozing Pink Eye! On the Friday before my test, my eye started feeling very scratchy and I thought an eyelash got in there. So, I rubbed...and rubbed...and rubbed. Yes, I know rubbing is the worst thing you can do! When I woke up Saturday morning, I could barely pry my left eye open and the pain was unbearable. Once I did get it open, I noticed the lovely red hue. Just what I needed before my big exam!! I couldn't bear to look at the light, read, or do much of anything else. On Sunday, I made my nurse mom take a look at it. She was repulsed and went and bought me some OTC eye drops which seemed to help. I was still a little red on Monday, but it finally cleared up completely by Wednesday. This Saturday afternoon, the pink eye came back again! I accused Giggleman of farting on my pillow to cause my agony (the movie Knocked Up taught me more than one thing!) I whipped out the drops again and was fine again by Tuesday. I'm sure this has to be some cold or sinus related issue, but it is really annoying! If the pink eye flares again this weekend, I'll go to the doctor or yank out my left eyeball.

Weight loss front: I totally missed a weigh-in due to studying madness and eye misery, but I was down 2.2 pounds on Saturday. Woohoo! Giggleman also decided to rejoin WW again with me (he hadn't shown up in over two months because he kept conveniently having to work on the one day that works for both of us.) He had only gained 0.2 pounds since then. Grrrr, I hate male metabolism. If he really put his mind to it, weight would be dripping off him. I only have to look at a bowl of ice cream or french fries to gain weight! We'll see how long his recommitment to health lasts :)

Oops, I Did it Again!

2008-12-04T11:33:00.000-06:00

I'm late with my update here!! I swear, every time I say I will do something, I tend to do the opposite. Yes, I am my own saboteur. I must figure out how to solve that issue. No time today though! I had planned to post my Black Friday tips (#1: Avoid it altogether!) Alas, Giggleman forced me to go with him, so I didn't get to write them and mock those who were out there at 3 AM! Shockingly, most stores were well organized this year except for Toys 'R Us. Why he wanted to go in there just for a great deal on batteries is beyond me...but when the line to check out runs through 90% of the store, it's time to give up!

Weigh in from Saturday: up 2 pounds. It wasn't totally unexpected due to Thanksgiving, but seriously, I thought I did pretty well! One of the other culprits came out of hiding earlier this week...Aunt Flo still has lovely timing. I should really recognize the warning signs (aka last post bathroom issues), but I still get shocked. I really should have known...but it seems like she just left a week ago. I guess her visit is actually almost on time for once by looking at my archives. Wow! So, I'm hoping for a lower number on Saturday. Either way, I am cracking the whip on myself and am planning every meal for the next week and will not budge when Giggleman begs to do something else. Seriously, he is one of my biggest obstacles! He tries to be supportive...sometimes... Yeah, something needs to be done but I'm not ready to start spilling my guts about that yet.

Time for me to finish getting ready for class, so I'll post more later. Less than two weeks before my huge pharmacy test, so I'll be here more often after I'm done!

Bow Down to the Pumpkin Spice God!

2008-11-26T10:21:00.001-06:00

For the past week or so since oral surgery (and since my awesome weight loss), I've been experiencing some trouble on the errr....bathroom front. To put it bluntly, I've been terribly constipated! I had been eating enough fiber and drank plenty of water, but the bowels just weren't moving much, and when they did, it hurt like giving birth. Well, I imagine birth hurts that much based on the movies. To use a term I'm familiar with, it hurt as badly as passing a kidney stone! My mom said the problem could be due to the lovely pain medication I was on. (BTW, I never ended up having any mouth pain, so they may have worked too well...they worked well for my shoulder!)

But, I discovered a cure that seems to work for now. Googling tells me it shouldn't work, except for one alternative cure site, but my body is all about defying the norm. My cure comes in the form of one pumpkin spice cappuccino in the morning! I hate anything that tastes too much like coffee unless it is doctored up with so much creamer or sugar that one could ask "Would you like a bit of coffee in your cream?" I have slowly grown to like some cappuccino flavors, and pumpkin sounded good, so I thought I'd try one. Coffee is a diuretic, so it usually increases constipation problems when drinking huge amounts. But, 30 minutes after I drink the lovely pumpkin spice concoction, I get the urge to go and I'm back to normal again. Yay!

In other news, I've found a new crazy weight-loss gadget for the week. Let me introduce you to the Diet Guard. It looks like the fancy mouth guard the dentist made me when I was treated for TMJ. I ended up grinding a hole through that bugger. For only $49.95 (or $99.90 for both your top and bottom teeth), you too can have a custom-molded mouth guard to prevent you from eating. Hello, if I was hungry enough, I'd pop that guard right out! I don't remember experiencing any lovely weight loss back then. If the gadget automatically stuck to my teeth until a programmed meal time, then we'd have a product worth buying!

Off to study before leaving for my pharmacy class, so I'll be back again tomorrow. (Seriously! A week with more than one post! Will the world stop turning?)

Second Verse, Same as the First

2008-11-24T12:57:00.001-06:00

Weigh in: Down 0.4 pounds. I am resisting the urge to kick or throw things! I expected to see a lower number due to eating mush for a few days after my oral surgery. Plus, my scale told me that I weighed 132.4 for three days straight. Yes, I still am stepping on my semi-broken scale. I knew for sure my body didn't lose that much overnight. Somehow, my scale magically changed to weigh in kilograms rather than pounds. I found the switch at the bottom...I have no idea how it was touched!

Since I have nothing exciting to talk about today, I'm posting a meme from Becklette.

1. Who was your FIRST prom date? I didn't go to the prom! None of my friends were going and I thought it sounded lame. From the stories I heard the day afterwards, I didn't miss a thing.
2. Do you still talk to your FIRST love? Did I ever talk to my first love? Did he know I existed?
3. What was your FIRST alcoholic drink? sips of beer from my grandpa
4. What was your FIRST job? Babysitting the brother of the most popular girl in school-I have no idea why the parents called me! I had only babysat my sisters in the past, so nobody would have recommended me. Maybe the sister thought who would be available on short notice? LOL! The brother ended up loving me so I was his regular babysitter for a few years.
5. What was your FIRST car? 1996 strawberry Dodge Neon-I got it after beginning college and starting a "real" job. It was new and I loved it!
6. Who was the FIRST person to text you today? The Giggleman was the first with the important message "The Human Torch was denied a bank loan"
7. Who is the FIRST person you thought of this morning? my sister--I cursed her when the alarm went off since the only reason I needed to get out of bed so early was to drop her off at school
8. Who was your FIRST grade teacher? Mrs. Culey-she told my mom I was an excellent student but needed to learn to stop interfering with others getting their work done after I finished. I couldn't help it...I was done and they were slow! I needed entertainment!
9. Where did you go on your FIRST ride on an airplane? Phoenix, Arizona for a college band tour--my mom was more scared for me than I was!
10. Who was your FIRST best friend and are you still friends with them? my first best friend was Catrina Walsh in pre-school...we were going to be in kindergarten together until stupid boundary line changes! I lost track of her once we no longer went to daycare together.
11. What was your FIRST sport played? Soccer! I was horrible for the first year, but I loved it. I ended up playing up through high school.
12. Where was your FIRST sleep over? My best friend Sara's house...I remember being sorely disappointed about the Care Bears sleeping bag my mom bought for me
13. Who was the FIRST person you talked to today? Giggleman
14. Whose wedding were you in the FIRST time? I was the flowergirl for my mom's wedding.
15. What was the FIRST thing you did this morning? Grabbed my cellphone to turn off the alarm
16. What was the FIRST concert you ever went to? a concert with my parents to see Eddie Rabbitt and Sylvia at the Corn Palace...yes it was lame, and I'm not sure why I went since I wasn't a fan! I'm assuming my mom couldn't find a babysitter
17. FIRST tattoo or piercing? My ears for my 8th birthday
18. FIRST foreign country you went to? Winnipeg, Canada for a choir trip--I do not remember ONE exciting detail except it was colder than home!
19. What was your FIRST run in with the law? I haven't had one yet...
20. When was your FIRST detention? Never had one...yeah I'm sure you're all thinking I'm a goody-two-shoes dork with the band and #19, but truly, I've had my rebellion!!
21. What was the FIRST state you lived in? South Dakota-first and only
22. Who was the FIRST person to break your heart? Giggleman would be the first to truly break it...and I still hold a bit of a grudge about it even though we are together again!
23. Who was your FIRST roommate? (besides my sister at home) my freshman year psycho roommate Christina--I found out her first letter to me that summer was sent to me from the mental ward (not why I consider her psycho because I've been a guest there a few years ago!) She didn't like her things touched, she started not going to classes, and eventually moved out to live with her psychology professor.
24. Where did you go on your FIRST limo ride? the restaurant Spezia with a group of overachievers at work

Infomercials are Products of the Devil!

2008-11-17T12:24:00.000-06:00

Before I start rambling, let me get my weigh-in digits out of the way. I had a good week...staying within my points, eating breakfast (I know it is the most important meal of the day, but I tend to skip it too often!), and getting some exercise in (not as much as the week before, but better than nothing!). Would the scale reflect my changes on Saturday? YES!! I lost 2.8 pounds!! This loss is my biggest drop since joining WW and the BLBE. Losing so much slower than before is so frustrating, but maybe it means I am doing the right things to keep it off this time.

I just got back from my dentist appointment with a numb left side of my mouth and an aching right jaw. Lovely! My dentist has personal TVs in each room that swivel so they are parallel to the ceiling. It doesn't help much once his head gets in the way! So anyway, while he worked, the morning talk show stopped and infomercial time began. Joy! The dental hygienist started talking about how she got sucked into something called the Bender Ball. She ended up getting sent two instead of one and was charged for both. When calling in, the rep told her she could keep the second for 10 bucks or wait for return labels and credits. Today, the infomercial for Malibu Pilates was on the TV. I had never heard of it and saw Susan Lucci on the screen. Geez, she promotes the makeup, has clothes on one of the shopping channels, and now is spewing exercise products? Acting isn't lucrative enough? From what I gathered, it has to do with pilates moves on a chair. I kept thinking, "Wow, what lame person thought of this?" Then, Mari Winsor pops on the screen a bit later. I should have guessed...she is the one who sucked me into her pilates videos back when I lost a ton of weight. (I think they are great and would use them if I could find where they were packed in the last move!) Now, I can't get the darn chair out of my head.

Self: "Ooh, I could do that while I'm watching TV or at the computer!"

Brain: "Just say no. Do you really think you'd get any real cardio?"

Self: "But look! They just showed how their heart rate increased!"

Brain: "Get some use of the exercise tools you have now, and then we'll discuss this purchase."

Yes, I have a problem!

Also, I have one last piece of cool news. Despite the slow loss, I have officially went down a size in pants! Last week, I realized my pant legs were dragging when I walked. Doing more research, I discovered I could pull my pants down without unbuttoning or unzipping. So, I decided to buy some new ones...I tried on a few different styles in different sizes. The ones a size smaller looked and fit better on me than the others. So, woohoo!

Time to find something mushy for lunch, so I'll be back tomorrow with more updates!

Taking Care of Me!

2008-11-14T12:00:00.000-06:00

Helllloooo out there! It's been quiet here for the past few days...sorry! But, I have been doing well with food this week and have been tracking! I said I was going to post totals here, but I did that back when I was doing South Beach and nobody is really interested unless you have awesome recipes and such. I don't. My food is boring! Instant oatmeal, cereal, peanut butter and banana wraps (I Heart Flat Out Wraps, BTW!), chicken, broccoli, turkey burgers, oranges, apples, and other mixed frozen vegetables do not make entertaining reads. Once I am a culinary goddess, I could change my mind!

I just got back from my regular dental checkup...marking the second dentist visit in two weeks. Here is a tip from me to you: Do not go back to school, quit work and lose insurance, and then return to work and be too absentminded to set up appointments. My lovely crown issue made me realize how neglectful of my body I've been in the past three years...no one should be shocked to hear that I gained back all that weight I lost during this period. I have two more dentist appointments next week...one with my dentist to repair another chipped tooth that I didn't notice and one with the oral surgeon to get the tooth that had the crown yanked out. The dentist also gave me an estimate of what it would cost to repair the one that is getting yanked. He wants me to do an implant which costs $1900 and is NOT covered by insurance. Plus, I'd have another oral surgeon visit for part of the procedure. Or, I can do a bridge which will be weaker but is partially covered and only be out $1000. Crap! All this for one tooth? He also recommended a gum shaving for my top front teeth. I've always been extra gummy in pictures, my teeth look small, and it's annoying. So, I'll probably do that sometime next year.

Next task: find a new doctor and set up an appointment! I know I keep saying this, but I will make it happen this month! I haven't been to one since last November when I knew my benefits were going away due to switching jobs and not wanting to pay COBRA beaucoup bucks. In that appointment, he went over my lab work, talked about my lack of energy issues, and gave me a bunch of samples of Synthroid. I'm assuming that my thyroid levels were actually low, and I was too dumb to ask that day. He never used to be one to throw pills at me like candy at a parade! He used to be so on top of things until he got remarried. Then, I had to guide him to making a diagnosis. A neurologist that saw me in 2005 when I was going through hell found things that my doctor missed and sent the info to him and advised I should hear from him in the next week about new meds, etc. I didn't hear a peep until he ran into my family in the hospital with my grandma THREE MONTHS LATER! I should have changed doctors then, but I figured I'd give him another chance! I should have been more proactive as well, so I know I'm part of the problem. Heck, he's been my doctor since age 4, used to be head of family practice at the hospital, and never pushed any weight programs or had any other fat doctor horror issues I've read about. But, he knows squat about PCOS and as I said, he just doesn't seem to figure out problems anymore!

I also finished signing up for benefits next year. I already had my health insurance and 401k since becoming official, but this year I had a ton of other options to go through plus make any other changes. For instance, for a small payroll deduction, I could choose to add up to one more week of vacation time to the already generous amount given. Even better, if I donated a larger amount to the United Way, I could wear blue jeans for two days each week next year. How sad is it that I upped my donation solely due to that fact? Sure, I'm helping people, but I get to experience FREEDOM FROM DRESS PANTS AND SKIRTS!

I'm off to workout before heading to work, so I'll cut off this ramble now and be back tomorrow with a killer weigh-in (I HOPE THERE IS CHANGE!!!)

Just a Quickie!

2008-11-12T13:49:00.001-06:00

Somehow, I slept through most of the day and am running behind!! I have my food for yesterday logged in the lovely WW e-tools so I'll share it along with Wednesday foods by tomorrow. I had my flu shot yesterday...wonder if that has anything to do with my sleepiness?

I did watch the Biggest Loser last night and am pleased with Brady going home! I really wished it would have been Vicki, but evidently she is working out as well as conniving schemes! I'm a bit worried about her state of mind with her Revenge note shown for next week. Yes, I paused the screen so I could read it all and she's out for blood!

Time for breakfast...errr make that late lunch and then I need to fly to work! I'll have some better news to share tomorrow (including pants excitement!)

Let it Snow!

2008-11-10T09:18:00.000-06:00

Contrary to my title, I DO NOT WANT MORE SNOW!! We were lucky last week and only got about an inch of that white stuff to stick around. People forget how to handle driving in the snow every year...too fast and they end up in a ditch or too slow and they end up getting rammed in the back end. I'm a perfect driver, of course :)

First, my weigh-in. I thought I put in great effort last week and I get a big goose egg! 0.0. Zilch. Nada! I had my internal pity party for about 20 minutes in my WW meeting. Then, my motivation refueled after listening to a particular success story. There was one man at my meeting who looked pretty darn fit and healthy. I was wondering where the wife that must have dragged him in here was! Well, he earned a star at our meeting for losing weight. Not just 5, 10, 20, or 50 pounds. HE LOST 150 POUNDS SINCE JANUARY 15TH THIS YEAR! Holy shit! He said that a group of guys from his workplace joined a meeting at work and all were kicking ass! He was doing the Core program and working out a bit more. I'm still wowed. He has lost an average of 15 pounds a month. And here I am trying to get a 5 pound loss to stay after 7 weeks. I never have had such issues with dropping weight when I worked at it before. So WTF is my problem now?

Well, Angie gave me a little kick in the butt in her email yesterday. She is so good about it...she had a great post about being accountable and calling people out on excuses last week too. She let me know about how she lost weight when she couldn't move by being awesome on the nutrition front. Thanks, Angie!! I thought I was doing well, but being honest, I'm half-assing it. I am back to rarely eating breakfast, sometimes miss lunch, and then let Giggleman make dinner decisions. He usually cooks, but sometimes I come home to pizza or chicken wings. Not cool! So, I'm taking control over my kitchen again and will be planning each and every meal. I blame my tiredness on my thyroid which is whacked, but truly, I'm not giving my body the stuff it needs to keep running. That is why I crash! Starting tomorrow, I'm going to begin posting my meals here also. If you see that I'm missing something, smack me!

Off to study so I'll be back later with more updates!

Everything is Sunshine and Sparkles!

2008-11-05T11:06:00.000-06:00

First of all, I'm stoked that Obama won the election! As I said yesterday, he didn't win our state but he didn't lose by a landslide either! I'm also happy about the abortion bill going down. When they interviewed the ringleader of those who got it on the ballot, all she had to say was the third time will be the charm! I'm sorry, but even with making exceptions this time, you didn't get any more people to vote for it than the first. Give up! Oh well, I guess I have to admire her perseverance. I had to work so I missed getting to watch all the results hoopla, but Giggleman taped Obama's acceptance speech. He knows my geeky political side too well. Then, I had a lovely conversation with my crazy Republican friend where he let me know how much I'm going to enjoy Socialism. We had a rousing debate about health care until he started whining about other things. I heard a funny commercial this morning about how the nation will be all sunshine and raining candy canes for now on since we made this change...at the end it said Same Crap, New President. Guess we'll have to see!

I had my dentist appointment today. I was there for about 25 minutes at the most! I had a lovely x-ray for where my cap was and then I sat watching TV until he came in. Unfortunately, my fix isn't just bond the bugger back in and everything will be cool. Of course not, this is my life! My remaining real tooth left in there is so miniscule and weak so that won't work. He said that they could do something called tooth lengthening where they mess with the gum and bone below it, but it would still be weak and would probably crack again. So, he recommended that I go get the tooth extracted by an oral surgeon, wait 6 weeks or so for it to heal, and then getting a bridge or something else put in. Ummmm, ok? I didn't understand half of what he meant...the only time I've been to an oral surgeon was when my wisdom teeth were removed, and I had a lovely bruise on my cheek for awhile. I just nodded in agreement and am hoping that insurance covers well! So, I get to look goofy for awhile! The spot where I'm now missing a tooth except for a stub is pretty noticable when I open my mouth. Lovely! I did get one piece of good news at the dentist. They offer free teeth whitening every six months to their patients. Guess I hadn't been there since they moved locations...oops! So now I can have sparkling white teeth for free!

I have to do some homework and other fun stuff, so I'll be back again later!

One Way to Avoid Candy!

2008-11-03T09:12:00.001-06:00

Hello, November! Glad to see you and the extra hour of sleep you gave me yesterday! I am so happy that the last week of the month is over...I just had no time to do anything. My blog was feeling neglected.

I found a new way to avoid Halloween candy on Friday. Lose a cap while chewing on a Rice Krispie bar! People were offering goodies like mad at work and that was the first thing I decided to actually eat instead of save for Giggleman when I got home. Well, somehow it yanked out my cap on my tooth! (My teeth are weakened by grinding, and that one cracked so they capped it!) I was chewing and found a really hard part...which was my tooth! I popped it back in and it will have to do until the earliest dentist appointment available on Wednesday. They also let me know that I haven't been in for a couple years! I hadn't realized I let it go so long! I've never had a cavity, so hopefully my record stays that way. Everything just a bit sticky or chewy is knocking it loose, so I'm avoiding most things until then. Guess that's one way to get rid of the pound I gained this week!

I don't think I've mentioned my lack of cooking on here. Wait, I take that back. Back when I was trying out South Beach (which was wonderful for one month), I did attempt some dishes. I guess I'm spoiled by Giggleman's talent in the kitchen. If only he was talented in cleaning up after himself! I had to make a pasta salad for a work potluck on Thursday. I could have made soup (who decided to make the theme soup and salads?) but I figured I'd never survive driving with it! I asked my mom which type of salad would be the quickest and cheapest to make. She said my favorite Spring Salad would work the best. Seriously, the way my mom makes it is the bomb! Due to the kitchen mess, I headed over to my mom's to cook (aka let her make it while I nod my head and work so slowly that she takes over). Well, I had to make it ALL myself...I even chopped the 4 or 5 cups of veggies by hand. She didn't even whip out the trusty Salad Shooter for me! Nobody died after eating the goods and many asked for the recipe. I guess the key to yum was sweetened condensed milk in the dressing. I have no idea how many points or calories it is...probably 5 zillion! I did use the light Miracle Whip and put more veggies in it though. I don't think I'm a bad cook, I just find ways to avoid cooking!

Finally, I'm trying to read up on all the issues to vote on tomorrow. Why must every November election be so jampacked with other measures? My presidential choice is easy (Obama is getting my vote even though McCain will surely win my state. SD hasn't had a democrat win since JFK...not even when McGovern ran and he's from the state!), but then there's the US Senate and House candidates, the state house and senate candidates, 5 million measures including one to outlaw abortions, plus more I'm forgetting about. I hope the lines aren't too long!

So, I better skidaddle if I want to get everything done today. I'll be back tomorrow with more news!

End of the Month Crazies!

2008-10-29T09:05:00.001-05:00

I'll have to get back here with a real post later!!! The end of the month at work means more for me to do...and I have pharmacy classes today...so I'm scrambling a bit! First off, I lost 2.2 pounds at my weigh-in on Saturday officially bringing me into the 2s!! YAY!! I'm thrilled, but I don't think it is going to last for this week :(

Yup, my lovely TOM came last night. I freaked out when the scale showed me 8 pounds heavier yesterday morning. Usually, I don't see that big of a bloat! I had been suffering horrible pains and a crazy migraine since the weekend, but I thought it might be more gastrointestinal related. I am hoping Aunt Flo leaves quickly this time! I hope my workouts can erase some of the damage.

I have to run, so I'll share more thoughts later!

I Need a Taser!

2008-10-22T09:19:00.001-05:00

If you read my blog, you probably watch The Biggest Loser every week. I am so angry after watching the show last night! I yelled at my TV last night and I never get worked up about a show. When I hear about viewers who shed tears watching, I wonder if I'm a bit coldhearted. But gosh darn, I have found my emotion now!

The Poop Brown team needs to go home now. No money. No luck keeping the weight off. I never wish ill about any losers, even Neil a few seasons ago after he did a ginormous amount of waterloading. Last week I just wanted Brady and his accent to go bye-bye. Now, my death glare goes to his wife Vicky. You think a challenge prize is lame so why try? WTF?!? I hope your kids enjoyed hearing that you didn't give a rat's patootie about seeing them! You don't care about losing weight this week because you are "safe"? Gosh, your attitude slays me! Caring about the money only? Smirking when Heba tells Amy P. there is no alliance? Smirking when Brady only loses 3 pounds (oh yeah, I'm sure he did some stunt. You heard the promo for next week about how someone loses more than their entire team?? I'm betting it's Brady.) I wanted to smack that smirk off her soooo badly! If only I had Stewie Griffin's time machine so I could go back in time, head to TBL ranch, and shake her until her attitude adjusted! Heba is very low in my book as of this episode too. I just wish alliances and gameplay wouldn't be such a big part of this game and that teams didn't get to just boot bigger losers at the beginning.

I'm done spewing venom and I just hope that next week's episode is more positive and uplifting. Time to get a workout in and release the rest of my anger!

Guess I'm Going to Hell!!

2008-10-20T01:54:00.000-05:00

I need to get to bed, but I can't sleep. So, I guess I'll write up my post for the BLBE. I apologize in advance if this is all rambly and incoherent! Serves me right for accidentally taking a three hour nap this afternoon.

First...WEIGH-IN TIME! I'm exactly the same weight according to my mom's scale. I'd go with my home scale but I can't trust it after fixing it...it gave me 298 and then 306 and then 301 and then 295. Yeah. I'll be buying a new one once I make a decision which one to buy and have the extra cash for it. Why don't I have an official WW number? My car decided to take a dump on me on the way to my meeting on Saturday! Two days ago, a light went on saying SERVICE ENGINE SOON. Well, it was running fine and if it's anything like my 'Door Open' light that picks random times to turn on, there wasn't anything wrong. My car sounded fine and I had my stepdad take a look just to make sure.

So anyways, I'm driving to my meeting and I notice the lights on the side of my dashboard looking a bit dim. "Well, that's odd!" I thought to myself. Then, the whole dashboard went dark. Uh, oh! Then, my radio started going fuzzy. I decided to stop in the nearest parking lot because my old car did this to me on the interstate once before it died and had to get a new alternator. Luckily, I had my cell phone on me this time because once I parked, I couldn't get it started again. I was pretty sure it was just my battery. My stepdad and my uncle took their sweet time coming over to jump it, so I missed my meeting completely. Saturday afternoon, they went to get my battery checked and the service guys confirmed that it was definitely shot. So, they put a new one in and figured out it wasn't just the battery and I wouldn't last a week without getting a new alternator. Great, the same darn expensive fix that my old car needed! Guess I won't be buying anything fun this week!

Also, I have found a reason to be thankful for Giggleman. He doesn't have any pushy religious family members forcing ideas on me. (He's Jewish, I'm not, not a big deal to anybody!) I went to pick up my youngest sister and bring her to school and was running a few minutes late due to having to scrape the windshield. My other sister's car is in the driveway (the one getting married who lives two buildings away from me and I've only been in her apartment once.) I thought that the youngest called her for a ride or something. Nope, she is now living there until her wedding night instead of her apartment with her fiance. She has started going to some marriage classes with her fiance's pastor in his hometown. Well, I guess his mom and the pastor have been pushing her to move out (yet still pay rent!) until their wedding night. Staying in separate bedrooms was not good enough! I guess the pastor told her the church will pay her half of the rent if she moved out so she finally agreed (ummm, does that strike anybody as odd? And, what would you label the fund that money is coming from?) She isn't really liking the arrangement yet, and hasn't spent much time with her fiance since then. I guess her fiance's sister even had to go up in front of the church and apologize for having a kid before she was married a while back. Harsh! I don't know what that church denomination is, but I'm glad I don't have that problem! But, if they are right, I'm going to hell!

Finally, I have been working out since my last post faithfully! I have been dropping off the Giggleman, popping in a workout video or doing a Jillian circuit, and then going back to bed if I was still tired. But, I haven't been as tired afterwards...amazing! Guess I can't use the too tired exercise excuse anymore. My goal this week is to go back to my gym instead of just scoping out the parking lot from my apartment for a Pump class. Time to try to fall asleep again before I have to get up in another 5ish hours!

No Excuses

2008-10-16T00:48:00.000-05:00

It is Thursday morning already! I wish I had the magic power to slow down time every so often. I've been letting my exhaustion and TOM get the better of me. I can't let that excuse go any longer...those conditions aren't going to kill me (well, unless I fall asleep driving and crash!) so I just need to push through it. Thank goodness my row at work is pretty empty...I nodded off a couple of times while entering scripts yesterday! I caught myself a minute later in the middle and couldn't remember what the heck I was trying to type. Oops! I seriously need a kick in the butt to get the workouts in! No more excuses!

I found this on Bikini Envy...my goal is to find a way to combat all excuses that I come up with. A lot of the excuses said here sound too darn familiar.

To fight my sleep excuse, I'm going to try something new tomorrow. Instead of going back to bed after I drop my sister off at school and Giggleman to work, I'm going to do my workout. When I go back to bed, I can't drag myself out of bed again soon enough to fit in exercise before work. Yesterday, I was lucky enough to wake up 30 minutes before work when the alarm didn't go off! Arrgh! I can always take a nap after my workout. That way, I can get both issues out of the way instead of only one. Wish me luck!

Time for bed so I'll let you know how it goes!

Breaking the Scale!

2008-10-13T09:36:00.001-05:00

First, I lost 0.2 pounds for my Saturday weigh-in. I'm stuck in the 3's for another week. My body always likes to taunt me whenever I want to hit major milestones. Yeah, I know a loss is always good, but I don't have to be thrilled about the result! I know that TOM was (and still is) here, but I also wasn't vigilant on tracking either. Plus, I didn't workout as much as I wanted. So, I shouldn't be surprised!

I found my scale at home broken on Friday. Seriously! I wasn't the one responsible (I think)! When I came home from work, it was sitting in a weird position. I lifted it up and the top half was awkwardly askew from the bottom and a piece fell out. I tried to put it back together but it was still resting at an angle and just read ERR when I tried to stand on it. I did some more fiddling with it, and I see numbers again but I'm sure they aren't right and it still is not quite parallel to the floor. I accused Giggleman of attacking it for some weird reason, but he claims no knowledge of touching it. I have no animals in the house and the scale can't spontaneously fall apart! Maybe this will break me of my scale obsession until I get a new one. I can't stand knowing how I fluctuate daily...I'm already insane from almost two days of not seeing a number! I guess this will motivate me to use the actual gym a couple of days instead of the home workouts so I can check out my weight.

Since I want to see a better loss this week, I'm unpacking the food scale I bought last week. No more guesstimating the size of a piece of meat or other portion sizes. Plus, I will be counting and tracking every point as I eat it instead of estimating and calling it good. I'm going to try Roni's Twitter eating thing when I'm out of the house...I think I'll be shocked on how off I've been.

My last goal for this week is to try a different workout each day this week. I've been relying on old standbys that don't seem to cut it anymore (I'm looking at you, Leslie Sansone!) Plus, working out on my own is getting a bit stale so I plan on trying some classes again. I just need to find my handy-dandy gym schedule so I can figure out what I can fit in between work, pharmacy study (the book is a bit bigger than I expected!), and sleeping! Look for daily updates from me this week--I seem to do better that way.

Some Richard Love!

2008-10-10T09:31:00.001-05:00

After yesterday's whiny post, I decided it is time to change the mood! Back when I was a kid, my mom tried different weight loss methods even though she didn't really need to shed much! I remember trying the Deal-A-Meal thing with her and working out to his Sweating to the Oldies videos. Fun times!

Well, I was catching up with some reading this morning and about died after watching the following video:

OMG, that is some quality comedy gold! I think I lost 5 pounds laughing through this one :)

Why Can't You Just Leave??

2008-10-09T10:28:00.001-05:00

Ugh, this week is flying by too fast for me! I completely forgot that pharmacy exam classes at work started this week so I've been scrambling to get ready before my first class. It would have helped if I had remembered to order my book a couple of weeks ago instead of on Monday. So, I really haven't done any reading before class today! They just sent us the syllabus on Monday (which made me remember about it!) and expected us to have 7 chapters read by today. Ummmm, not happening! I'll just wing it this week like I did back in college. (And, how did that work for you, Ms. Jodi? No comment!)

You know how I guessed I'd have a great week with food and exercise going wonderfully? Food is great, exercise is tough! I am just so exhausted and I can't shake it...almost like I have mono for the 5 millionth time. I even have felt myself nodding off for a couple seconds while working. I don't have problems falling asleep at night and don't think I have had any sleep disturbances besides the alarm in the morning! I have tried napping this week after bringing Giggleman to work which has cut down my exercise time. Napping is not helping, so workouts are back on my schedule.

I'm also retaining water like crazy this week! My engagement ring will not budge. Yes, it is my wonderful true TOM. A while back I complained about the spotty cycle where it showed up for a day or two, left for a while and came back for another day or so. Well, last month my TOM came and never really left...just changed from heavy dark deluge to dark pink light drizzle...and now I'm at the true dark shedding again. I was put on Yasmin last year to control this issue, but my body is saying "Screw you! I'll do what I want just to spite your synthetic help!" I've dealt with funky period issues since age 16 so I'm not shocked by anything. I'm sure my iron is running low due to my extended visitor, so I know this is one reason for my exhaustion. If Aunt Flo doesn't leave by the end of the week, I'll check out the gyno that my mom mentioned. Her work friend has a daughter with issues like mine and is doing so much better. I know I have PCOS (it took a neurologist checking out my blood work and past ultrasounds/MRIs/other tests 3 years ago to finally lead my doctor towards that diagnosis), and he has mentioned the possibility of endometriosis a long time ago but he hasn't chosen to check further. (And I haven't pushed him either...I know I need to be my own advocate!) As I've mentioned in other posts, my doctor is no longer so cool and on top of things (like how he dealt with thyroid issues), so I have to find one who can help. I've delayed looking due to the lack of insurance while I was temping (and not wanting to pay high COBRA charges), but I've been fully insured since April and still am procrastinating. So, part of this is my fault!

I really didn't mean to make this whole post a complaint! Sorry!

In other news, I watched the Biggest Loser last night without reading any recaps beforehand! Do you know how hard it is not to read FatBridesmaid's recap when I get home? She is spot on! I want the Brown team gone already, too! Also, I have a PPP update. Still missing! I know it is at home somewhere. Giggleman said he will find it for me by tonight. He has a knack for finding all my missing stuff. He better find it or his crown will be tarnished :) I need to get dressed for class, so I'll be back with a more cheery update tomorrow!

I'm Nothing if Not Consistent!

2008-10-05T14:42:00.000-05:00

Second verse, same as the first! Second weigh-in, same amount lost. So, I'm still in the 300s for another week...down -1.6 bringing me to 300.4. Just a measly 0.4 pounds away! My loss is going soooo slowly this time. I'll see how this week goes since I'm now back to regular workouts.

Giggleman didn't sign up for overtime or find any other excuses, so he made it to the WW meeting yesterday. After seeing his gain (only 0.4 but still!!) and hearing about a person in our meeting who has lost 120some pounds, he found his motivation again. So, he promises that he'll get on board with eating better this week. Time will tell if he sticks to his word or not.

I finally found the way to torture Giggleman on Saturday! He always teases me about being a band geek throughout high school and college. He has NEVER been to a marching band competition and vowed that he wouldn't get to one! I dragged him to the Festival of Bands finals last night. He was shocked that the stadium was full of band lovers! I think he enjoyed some of it...well, at least he liked keeping track of how many flags, rifles, etc. were dropped :) My old high school performed well, but I don't think as well as when I was in it with the previous director! But, I'm biased! I'll get him to a DCI competition when it comes to town next summer. Those are the best!

I'm off to work on our grocery list for the week, so I'll post more later!

Lost and Found

2008-10-03T12:54:00.001-05:00

I can't find my Pretty Pink Poddy (aka my iPod)! Yes, I named her that so there! The last time I remember, she was on my bed. I looked on the side of the bed, under the bed, around the bed, in it, and all spots again. I'm beyond sad. I was going to use the treadmill or the elliptical today, and PPP saves me from wicked boredom. I may just have to do another workout instead. (Sniff!) Also, I will have to go to work without my tunes and podcasts to keep my brain from going numb after staring at a computer screen too long. What's a girl to do?

I wish I could send a text message to my iPod so I can magically find her. That's how I always find my cell phone...despite plugging it in, it likes to jump off the charger and roam. I think my apartment is the real Bermuda Triangle. I lose so many things in here. Sometimes, the items will come back but some will never be seen again. This awesome lip gunk I bought? Who knows where it is! My black sports bra? I wish it would come back! My fancy measuring cup thingy? Probably hiding in Giggleman's pants for all I know! I've lost a whole set of keys...which miraculously appeared after being gone 6 months...but are now gone again. I'm going to have to attach a GPS unit to all of my important things. Seriously!

I have had the same problem with my weight. Lost it, find some back, lose some more, find it back plus gain more, lose again. After reading a blog post today (I think it was Alexa but I'm too lazy to check for sure!), I realized I had no recovery mode in my past attempts. When I saw the scale moving up again, I didn't really do much to combat it. So, along with cultivating the best habits, I need to work on my recovery so that I don't have to lose this much ever again!

I am freezing again in the house and am too stubborn to put the heat on, so I'm going to go outside and enjoy the sun. I think it is warmer outside than in right now. Or my thyroid is on crack again and I'll just have to bundle up like an Eskimo for the rest of the day! I'll be back tomorrow with my WI and with a workout report (which would be so much easier with my Pretty Pink Poddy!)

Death by Jillian Michaels

2008-10-02T12:56:00.001-05:00

First official workout of October: DONE! If I'm dead tomorrow, you'll have Jillian Michaels to thank! A few months ago, I bought one of her books and it had a code for a free month to her website. Well, I decided to try her out! As some readers know, I am quite a fan of Miss Jillian. I listen to her podcasts each week, I have all her workout videos except 30 Day Shred and some teen one she made, and of course, I watch The Biggest Loser every week. Once I buy a Wii, I'll definitely be buying her video game that you can preorder now.

Jillian's website is based on three major elements: Self, Science, and Sweat (just like her first book). I haven't checked out the science (food plans, recipes, oxidizer type, etc.) yet. Today, I was ready to conquer the Sweat! Today, I was scheduled for a lovely, painful circuit. I'm used to working out hard back from when I was doing marathon training, but that was about 3 years ago, so I decided to set myself at Level One (the beginner level). Good choice! Thank you, brain!

Below is what I just completed. I did a bit more jumping jacks and rope than the 1 minute suggested and I think I may have did a few extra sets because I lost count in my head, so it took me about 1 hour and 15 minutes.

Circuit One: (repeat 3 times)

Wide Grip Pulldown (12)
Jumping Rope (1 minute)
Hack Squats (12...I did 16 each time...yes, I'm crazy)

Circuit Two (repeat 3 times)

Dumbbell Row (12)
Jumping Jacks (1 minute)
Forward Lunges (12 each side)

Circuit Three (repeat 3 times)

Supermans (12 I noticed my carpet had an odd odor so I whipped out the Febreeze. Then, it smelled like lavender vanilla funk! After the third set, my back told me "Stop with the strengthening already!")
Jumping Jacks (1 minute, very sick of jumping jacks by the third set!)
Static Lunges (12 each side, My legs and arse muscles cried after the third set)

Oh no, we are not done yet!!!

Circuit Four (repeat 3 times)

Dumbbell Bicep Curl (12)
Jumping Jacks (1 minute, I'm sure my downstairs neighbors love me by now!)
Bicycle Crunches (12 I remember these from Winsor Pilates. Mari on the video did them much faster than Jillian's instructions. My core muscles did not like being activated after such a lapse!)

Circuit Five (repeat 3 times, Thank goodness this is the last circuit!!!!)

Concentration Curls (12 each arm)
Jumping Rope (1 minute)
Russian Twists (12, My core begged me to leave it alone after the 2nd set but I pushed through)

Oh yes, I had a warm-up and cool-down as well included in my time above. Next time, I will learn how to keep count! I worked hard on keeping my form throughout, so I hope not to experience too much pain later today. Now, I must hurry and get ready for work, so I'll be back later!

What is Missing??

2008-10-01T12:14:00.000-05:00

I am cold!! Not just cold, FREEZING!! Let me put it this way: I'm huddled under two layers of blankets, my nose is starting to drip, and I'm seriously considering typing with mittens. SERIOUSLY!! Gotta love the true change to fall going on this week! Last week, I woke up to temps at least in the 60s...today it was 41! Next week, the weatherman I can't stand said we'll be seeing some frost (guess I should start hunting for my ice scraper now!) I wonder when our first snow will be this year. Maybe I should start pulling out my sweaters.

I've been seeing quite a few people posting their Wordles on their blogs lately so I decided to take a look and find out what mine looks like. Ta Da!

I'm seeing some keywords that are desperately needed in my word cloud. Why aren't they there? I haven't wrote about them in quite a while, evidently! I'll give myself 50 lashes with a wet noodle. What are those words: Workout, Exercise, Walking, Treadmill, etc. You get the picture! That changes today! No, I won't just randomly type those words in my next posts, silly! You'll start seeing my workout reports right here tomorrow. My October goal is to get 25 true workouts in for the month. I'm not going to be counting my walks during work breaks, even those are great! Stay tuned!

I'm Only in Charge of Me

2008-09-28T16:21:00.001-05:00

So, yesterday was weigh-in day. Did I make it to WW on time? Yes, I made it there all by myself! Despite the sickness lack of workouts, I'm down 1.6 pounds. Yay! My goal for next week is to lose 2 pounds and finally wave bye to the 300s for good.

As I said, I went to WW by myself. Giggleman accepted overtime again and refused to get up for the only time he could go to. I'm sick of fighting with him about it...I can only control myself and if he is going to be a piss ant, I'm not going to even try. It's not my money he is wasting by not showing up! Showing him how to track his food doesn't make him keep it up. Rolling my eyes and complaining just makes him be more stubborn about making changes. So, I have to change my tactics or let him figure it out himself. So for now, I'll concentrate on myself and if any of my changes rub off on him, woohoo. At least he has no problem with going to the gym!

In BLBE news, my feed reader is exploding with all the blogs I had never discovered before. Wow! I think I've made it up to the Hs...so much more to go! This is great and I'm so glad I decided to join.

Pain and Agony

2008-09-26T09:16:00.000-05:00

This week has been brutal! I've been sick all week (nausea, stomach cramps, migraines, fever, body aches, etc.) Today, I feel a little better than death warmed over, so here I am!

On Monday, I went to the chiropractor for the first time in years. There was one at the bridal fair who was doing free screenings, so I set up an appointment after seeing my nerve scan results. He had a deal where X-rays, a full spine checkup, and whatnot would be only $10. Can't pass up a deal! I've been having lots of headaches, weird numbness, and sharp pains lately so it was time to find some kind of help. He told me my results were quite unusual and I'm pretty much screwed up! I pretty much figured that out on my own :) First, imagine the curvature of the spine in the neck area as a banana facing one way. Mine is facing the opposite way which he said most likely causes all the awful headaches that I get. When he checked out my posture, he asked if any doctor has mentioned anything about having a short leg. Ummmm, no? He pointed out my one shoulder sits up quite a bit higher than the other one. I looked in the mirror and it's clearly visible...I never realized it though! He needed a bit more time to go over the rest of the x-ray results, so he said he'd call me that night if anything else stood out. When he called, he said he found some issues in my lower back, but he believed that chiropractic care would help the issues he found. So, I'll have to set up an appointment after I check out my insurance coverage.

Also, thank you so much for all the helpful comments on my last posts! I really needed a kick! I will definitely be going to my meeting tomorrow no matter what time it is. I've been sticking to my points (so hard to get the full amount in when my stomach doesn't want food the past few days) ever since starting meetings. Being sick has hurt me a bit in the exercise for this week, but I should see a loss!

Yes, I'm Officially a Spazz!

2008-09-21T23:56:00.002-05:00

I made a goal for myself when I joined WW last week. I would NOT miss a week unless I'm dying. Well, I already blew it!!!! Giggleman informed me Friday night that he had to work Saturday morning. So, we'd have to attend a meeting at 6:30 AM in order for both of us to go together. OMG, that is early for me! I used to get up that early almost every day before I changed jobs. Now, I'm spoiled by my later shift and getting to sleep in. When the alarm rang, we were still tired, so he decided to skip and I decided I'd go without him later. After bringing him to work at 8 AM, I decided to sleep for 2 more hours, then get ready to go to the 11 AM meeting. Obviously, I overslept or this paragraph would have no point!

So, my weigh-in will have to go by my home scale...304.4. I have no idea if that is close to the WW weight or not, because I forget what my home numbers were last week.

In other news, I went to a wedding show today with two of my sisters. While my sister was getting her hair styled for free, she spied her fiance's ex-girlfriend. She's getting married too! The ex stared my sis down and we could tell she was checking out her ring to compare who's was bigger. Ha! She then straightened up, made a prissy face, and covered her stomach. Methinks there was something she was trying to hide. I then ran into someone I knew...well I think I know her. We had a totally normal conversation and I told her I almost didn't recognize her with short hair and glasses. I think she was someone I used to work with. After she left, I started to doubt my memory and thought maybe she was another person from the past. Oh well!

Time for my rant of the day! There was a booth for LA Weight Loss at the show. The chick there was giving her spiel to some brides that walked past about losing weight. The women she specifically targeted were all thin!! She came up to my sister who maybe has only 10 pounds she could part with before starting to look anorexic and offering her all kinds of crap. She totally ignored the bigger gals who were checking out her papers. WTF? My sister used to have body image issues...way to make her doubt herself! She asked me if I thought she should lose 20 pounds afterwards. I noticed this same type of thing when they were at my company's health fair. If that is LA's strategy, I do not agree with it! Also, some vendors completely ignored me and then made a huge effort to talk up my sister. Grrrrr, well they won't be getting my business!

Giggleman is getting antsy, so I'm going to have to cut this entry short. I guess I'll have to visit my fellow BLBE peeps tomorrow!

Facebook This!

2008-09-19T12:02:00.002-05:00

Last week, my sister asked me if I had a Facebook account. When I asked why, she said she just had to show me her engagement pictures. Ummmm, why can't she just email them to me? (BTW, I am totally over not being picked and now one of my other sisters is not part of it either...the little diva changed her mind and is having one sister and one friend as her peeps. Flighty!) I am just not into these social applications. I know I'll get slammed about this, but my position has always been that MySpace is lame...so Facebook can just get added to that list. Giggleman tells me that it just has to do with my "Old Soul" attitude. Hey, I love my computers, IPods, and other gadgets just as much as the young kiddies! But, I love old movies and music and just get along better with those older than me...nothing wrong with that! Do I want to get in touch with people I used to go to school? Not so much! Am I a bit interested? Maybe!

So, I logged into Giggleman's account (yes, he has profiles on both sites and I remind him often how lame he is!) to check out her pictures and other stuff. I know he has a lot of high school friends and others from his hometown linked to him, so I thought I'd search with my school info and see what came up. I only ran across a few names that I recognized. So, unlike what my sisters and Giggleman told me, I am not the ONLY person in the world who is not on Facebook or MySpace. Neener, neener, neener!

I checked out her pictures...wow, I had a reality check! I did not think I looked smaller than I do now when I lost a ton of weight almost 3 years ago now. In one of the Diva's albums, she had pictures of me from Christmas that scared me to death!

My weight was up about 15 pounds more than now...I could have been Santa's stand-in! I really noticed the difference in my face. I need to find my other pictures to show a comparison. I'm the one in the pink on the right!

I also found a picture she posted of all my bridesmaids in their dresses. I just hope they still fit into them by this time next year! Of course, she doesn't have a picture of me in my wedding dress because she isn't in it! LOL!

In weight loss news...I've found a couple of challenges that will keep me motivated! The wonderful Angie has set up a Biggest Loser challenge that begins on Sunday. I also found a challenge on SparkPeople related to the Biggest Loser. Yay!

Off to workout before I have to get ready for work, so I'll be back with more tomorrow!

Not a Zombie!

2008-09-18T10:05:00.001-05:00

Hey all! I'm back from the blogging dead. I didn't mean to make the absence so long...I've been working overtime at my main job, started a new venture for some extra cash, working on some medical issues, and changing my wedding date again (not my fault this time!) I also have my own functioning Internet again...YAY!!! So, I'm back to posting and I promise to keep this up regularly.

So what is new? On Saturday, my fiance and I joined WW together. I know I had hemmed and hawed about it for awhile. I finally took the plunge after reading about the "Lose for Good" program. Why not lose weight for a good cause? You know what really sucks about being a female? I have been eating pretty cleanly for months now and Giggleman has been eating whatever the heck he wants, ignoring vegetables completely, and rarely working out...he weighs in 40 pounds less than the last time he stepped on a scale (I think it was February or March) and I'm a couple pounds up from when I last weighed in here...303.6. Seriously!

I enjoy being a girl...

I'll just sing that a few times and get to feeling better about that! I'm not going to complain about my messed up thyroid and PCOS. I'm just going to overcome and do more exercise. The scale is not the only indicator of success...the scale is not the only indicator of success...the scale....

I'm not mental! Ha! So anyway, as I was saying way up there, my wedding date has changed. The pastor at my church changed, and somehow, they overbooked June 13th. Lovely! I was last, so we got the boot. We could have went elsewhere, but I'd feel weird going to another church for just one occasion, having to deal with unpredictable weather by going outdoors, or just picking a random place that wasn't already booked. So, we checked with our reception site for new dates...I didn't want a time in late July or August...so it is now September 19th, 2009! This will be the last time my date changes or I'm going to elope. Seriously!

I am still working on something special to add here once weekly...once I figure out the kinks! I'll be back tomorrow with some Biggest Loser news!

I Am So Petty!

2008-08-14T12:40:00.000-05:00

For those wondering, I have not joined WW just yet. I am going to try it on my own for a bit longer and make a decision when out of control hormones aren't playing a part. I'm going to keep up my gym commitment a bit longer before I change it up.

In other news...my sister is now engaged! We knew it was coming but she didn't think it would happen until this winter. Her fiance asked my parents officially last week and the family had to keep it quiet until he popped the question. They had already had wedding chats and talked about colors and where to have and blah blah blah beforehand. I think he's a good match for her in most ways (maybe a bit more controlling than I'd expect her to like), but she is a lot less crazy and actually has stuck with a job under his influence.

Anyways, I got a message from her today saying she was home sick and to call her back when I get a chance. When I call, she asks me to be her personal attendant. I didn't know what to say. She is my MOH. She is also performing a song (after putting up a fuss about which song we wanted her to do, wanting the other song we picked, then not wanting that one, and going back to the first again). So, I'd be the go and fetch girl and make her feel like the star...a part I've played too often in her life. I kind of thought she would choose me to do something else. I didn't think I'd be her MOH since there were rumors about having 1 or no attendants. Then, I found out my other sisters will both be in the wedding party. Her MOH will be my youngest sister who just turned 16. So, I feel like the ugly stepchild once again...I'm not good enough for her...I'm not included yet again...sigh. I should be happy that she wants me to do anything but I guess I'm just being petty. I know I'm being stupid, but I just can't stop crying about it.

Arrrgh, I hate this! All I can think about is how I feel snubbed. It's her wedding...I should just smile and be happy for her. I just keep thinking it's because of something I did/didn't do and because she doesn't want a blob up front. I'm being all negative and I need to stop. I'm going to walk to clear my head and stop thinking about this!!

Drinking Too Much Kool-Aid

2008-08-07T09:55:00.000-05:00

I'm 95% sure I'm going to do it. I keep trying to convince myself I don't need them, but external forces keep persuading me that I'm wrong. Maybe I've been fed too much of their Kool-Aid and now I'm convinced to become another member of their cult. But, I have been a member before and I've succeeded so it can't be that bad. Ohhhhh, I can't decide what to do!

By now you're probably wondering, "What the hell are you rambling about, woman?" Well, I'm considering joining Weight Watchers again. I keep telling myself I can make these "lifestyle changes" on my own...I already know the points program...I don't need to pay just to get recognition from others. Or, why not just try the online program if I'm feeling like I need it? The problem is, if I don't have a face-to-face encounter, I end up slacking off. Why not get some friends and family members to meet me at the scale each week for weigh-ins? They can give me a pat on the back for a job well done. OMG, I do not want them knowing my weight! Last week, I went over to my mom's house for her birthday and my sister asked "Have you been losing weight?" My first response was to adamantly shake my head no with a mortified expression on my face. But, we know the truth...I have lost some weight. But, I don't want her watching me for those changes. She'll start looking for me to eventually fail, like I have in the past. That's what my head tells me anyways. And of course, Giggleman knows I'm working on my goals and supports me, but he loves me no matter what weight I am and doesn't stop me when I have the urge to slack off.

Weight Watchers has given me the accountability I desperately needed in the past. And, I love the little stickers, key chains, other doohickeys, and cheers from strangers when I succeed. When I thought about filling myself up too much, I stopped myself by remembering I had a meeting coming up. Why should I have to pay for that though? Can't I reward myself? Isn't the support from the HYC, blog readers, and people on other forums enough? Three years ago, online support was all I needed. In the past, I could do it all by myself, but as I get older, each pound gets harder to shed, and I need all the support I can. I know I can do it on my own for a little while. But then, I get a little sloppy...and that's when I need the extra push. Also, a lot of the successful weight-loss bloggers are WW members. So, I get more encouragement to join by reading about their successes. But, I've also read those who developed eating disorders or had old ones kick in again when on WW. I don't think I'll go nuts and start starving myself. So, I think I'm joining. Unless my mind gives me another reason not to in the next couple of hours. Sigh.

Days 58-60: Sleep is NOT Overrated!

2008-07-31T11:08:00.001-05:00

Here goes try #2 to post this! I wrote a long, rambling entry in the wee hours of the morning...when I clicked publish, my system froze and I guess my draft didn't save either. Grrrr....

So anyways, I haven't stepped on the scale since Monday but I feel lighter. Maybe it's due to my haircut! Taking off 2 inches or so and thinning out my thick, unmanageable mane can do wonders. My stylist even found a way to make my natural curl come out from hiding and not make me look like I had a fro in the process. Yay! I've been eating pretty well since giving myself a kick in the pants and I'm going to keep the momentum going this time.

So, how am I doing with the gym? Here is where my title kicks in. Towards the end of the month, work managers get quite anxious to beef up numbers. Which means my boss "strongly encourages all on the team to work at least 4 hours extra for the next couple of days." I get home late enough and now you want me to do more? Go in earlier means losing my workout time or sleep and working later makes my struggle to fall asleep start later. Lovely!

Seriously, I am feeling half dead right now. When I get home, it takes me forever to wind down and fall asleep. Just when I finally am getting some good zzzs in, Giggleman's loud alarm rouses me from slumber. So, I have to get up, get dressed, and drive him to work. I am the official chauffeur because he doesn't have a license or much experience behind the wheel yet. Darn New York City transplants and their use of subways and foot power! He had no need to drive there, so I'm going to have to teach him more when I have the time. Here in the Midwest, we're driving as soon as the law allows (age 14 here), and many farm kids start much sooner (scary thought!) After I get home, I can't fall asleep again so well and I only have a few hours before needing to get ready for work. Maybe I'll have to try sleeping pills again since natural methods aren't working. I last used Ambien a few years ago when I was lucky to sleep an hour or two each night (known here as the year I'd like to forget!)

My big gym plan will start on Saturday when I have no more overtime! I have perused the gym schedule and have picked a list of classes I'm interested in and work well in my own schedule. I'm trying a different class each day...cardio pump, spinning, aqua aerobics, some weight training circuit one, mat fusion (combines yoga and pilates), a class that includes Bosus, balls, and steps, and some aerobic dance type thingy which I don't remember the name. After the week is up, I'll decide which one(s) I'll commit to continue going. I'm tired of the solo workouts and the treadmill so I can't wait to start!!

Days 52-57: Hovering

2008-07-28T11:27:00.000-05:00

My weight freakout from last week is over!! Every single time the scale goes up and stalls, it's usually due to an Aunt Flo visit. I was not expecting another one, since she already did make a short appearance this month. Well, she came back and is still here for an extended stay. I don't know if it's due to my efforts or what, but my TOM is so goofy since working out and trying to eat right. Before, I had heavy periods lasting over a week (sometimes almost a month long!)...and then sometimes skip a month or two or more. Now, I have spotting or something that lasts a day or two in between what I actually consider a true one and the true ones aren't so heavy. Maybe I'm getting closer to normal! But, I would like to do without the hormonal, emotional crapfest that goes along with each time!

As others reminded me, the scale would and did move back down over the course of the week. But, I'm still not into new loss territory for this round...still hovering at 11 down. It's my fault...I'm still not putting in the same effort I did during June. Plus, I had too many family celebrations that revolved around eating this week. Two birthdays, an anniversary, and a family reunion wore me out! I'm a whiz at math, but my body is stubborn and won't stick with the calories in/out numbers my mind orders it to obey.

So, I'm going back to the basics since I haven't mastered them! I didn't keep up with the food journal much this month, so I'm back to tracking diligently again. Breakfast went on the wayside...I'm vowing to put that back on the menu. And most importantly? I'm making a workout schedule that will work for me. Exercise is always the area that gets put on the backburner due to the usual excuses. I feel better when I workout, but I let other things take precedence over gym or workout video time. I will be adding a workout tracker to my sidebar tomorrow, so if you see more than a day between workouts, ask me what is going on!

Days 44-51: Time for a Reboot

2008-07-22T12:36:00.000-05:00

July is just really turning into an awful month for me to succeed in the health and fitness changes! My mom was sent to the hospital after going to a regular checkup (that she had considered rescheduling) on Friday with a problem that could have been quite serious. So, we pretty much camped out at the hospital most of the weekend and then ate crap as a family for meals. I can feel my body is swelling up like the Stay-Puft Marshmallow Man and just know the scale will read a inflated number. With the way I feel, I know the number on the scale will seriously take the wind out of my sails. I'll feel like crap and could give up. I don't want to feel that way and I WILL CONTINUE DOING THE RIGHT THINGS!! I'm not strong enough to be able to handle seeing the number right now. So, I'm choosing not to remember this last week existed and will weigh in again next week for the Biggest Loser challenge.

I know, I'm a big chicken!! But, I'm doing this for my own long-term success. I am the best at sabotaging myself. If I get a compliment, I have an urge to hide away. If someone flirts with me at the gym, I start avoiding it (it's happened in the past!) If I see a big gain, I know I might binge...I don't have any junk in the house, but eating too much of the healthy food isn't a good thing either! By avoiding the scale one week, I'm allowing my body to override my mind and continue good efforts for longer. I have a week to clear out the July mental junk, and will be in a better, non-sabotaging head space to handle a gain or a loss by Monday. That's my story and I'm sticking to it.

Days 38-43: The Sound of Silence

2008-07-14T11:31:00.000-05:00

Sorry for the lack of posting the rest of last week. I was in a bad hormonal headspace!! I was cranky, fought with Giggleman too often over dumb things like "OMG, how did you lose my peanut butter!" or "It is so your fault I can't find my keys!", and he quickly learned to avoid me for a few days.

You Would Think I Was Taking These!!!!

But, I did get chosen as Employee of the Month! At least Aunt Flo did not effect my work performance :) I didn't expect it at all since I only became an "official" employee in mid-April. So what do I get? I pretty much get a "good job" from my boss and a special parking space in the front row on the other side of the building. I think my normal place I park is a bit closer to my preferred door than this one.

I know what you're waiting to hear now...did you get your gym workouts in? NO! I know, I know...I had that wonderful post full of motivation. But, I also didn't mention the horrible experience I had last time. When I was in the changing room, this girl and her mom come in to change. The girl would not stop staring at me! I felt like I was in 5th grade again trying to avoid letting the other girls see all of me in the locker room again. I then head off to the gym and all was ok in the world again. After my workout, I changed into my swimsuit to meet Giggleman in the pool. I noticed he was looking pretty grumpy. He proceeded to tell me about his experience in the pool. "There was this mother and daughter...the girl pointed and laughed when she got near me...the mother pulls her aside and tell her not to laugh in front of a fat person, make sure that you just laugh on the inside!" WTF!! I was not shocked out to find out that it was the same people I encountered in the locker room.

With the way I was feeling last week, I wanted to smack them silly...but I didn't and did my usual thing of avoiding the situations that piss me off. My shy, try to hide away side won out yet again...and of course, that side of me doesn't help me much in life. My gym avoidance ends today! I'm not on the rag, I'm not in pain, and I'm not about to let some idiots ruin my plans. I'm up a pound from last week, but I'm not going to give up!! You will see a workout report tomorrow!

Day 37: Planning to Succeed

2008-07-08T02:02:00.000-05:00

I am trying a new program that is supposed to make adding pictures and videos to my blog so much easier. If it works, you'll be seeing a lot more fun things from me here in future posts :)

So, as I mentioned in my last post, I have been slacking off on exercising for too many days. Why do I always put off doing things that would be good for me? I have not figured out that answer, but I sure know how to make enough excuses. I am not putting off moving one more day, despite my cramping. If I remember correctly, working out seemed to help ease that pain before. If I don't post with workout results tomorrow, you're allowed to bitchslap me in the comments. I've also made a plan to check out a class that interests me this week called Pump. It is supposed to have weight training and cardio in it and it sounds a lot like a class I used to love at my old gym. The reason why I no longer go to that place is because the class kept on getting canceled for the day I could go. No answers why...it was always well-attended! If I can't get myself back on track using my own determination, I will do the unthinkable....get a personal trainer. I can't so easily back out of a REAL appointment, I would feel bad about wasting money, plus a good one will know how to push me to achieve my best.

I've also pulled out the good ol' Beck book again. I admit, I stopped reading after Day 14 or so. Amazingly, some of the assignments after that day make a lot of sense. One assignment was to plan out a whole week of meals. I'm also supposed to write down if I eat more than I planned or added any foods and how I felt and blah, blah, blah. This task frightened me because I am not much of a planner (can ya tell?) Well, I say I'm going to plan and then I throw away the plan. I was very successful when I followed the meal plan/grocery list with Ediets a few years ago. Why did I stop doing that? It's too long of a story for now, but maybe I'll write about that time of my life later. I also didn't think I needed to be so structured about eating right. Errrr, I think I do. I honestly am going to work out a meal plan for me and have it ready by the weekend. I'd start my plan earlier this week, but shopping and cooking will just keep me away from the gym, which is my first priority. I will not let Giggleman convince me to throw my dinner plans out the window, like I did too often last week. We'll see how that works.

It is way too late and I don't want to use the tired excuse for tomorrow's...ummmm make that later today's workout so I'll be back with more news later!

Days 31-36: The Blob Returns?

2008-07-07T13:22:00.002-05:00

I am typing today on our new laptop! I don't have to use our dumb desktop anymore. Yay! Well, I really don't have a problem with the other computer, I just really hated sitting at the desk using it. We never got around to buying a nice computer chair...the temporary folding chair was a literal pain in my ass. Then, Giggleman got the bright idea to move the computer into the bedroom and we could sit on the bed or lay down and use it (his favorite way)....NO!!! NO!! NO!! I've tried to do it his way for two months and I couldn't stand it anymore. Plus, the desktop couldn't handle all the applications I usually used for photos and games and whatnot. So, we bought one with a bit of his government stimulus check plus his regular pay. The rest went into our wedding fund, no worries!!

Since I posted last, I have been a workout slacker. I have not went to the gym for the past 5 days. I was planning on going Saturday, but then Giggleman wanted to go to an early showing of Hancock (I liked it!), and then my mom decided to throw a belated 4th of July picnic since my sister wasn't at big family picnic on Friday. She sure missed out on some verbal fireworks at that one...wish I would have missed that one too! Sunday, I set the alarm to go to the gym but woke with a horrible headache and my stomach in agony. By the end of the day, the pain decided to focus on my girlie parts down there. Fuck me! I'm pretty darn sure that it must be ovulation cramping, possibly a reason why I was cranky, craving sugar, and lashing out at my poor Giggleman various times over the weekend. I am NOT ready for my monthly visitor again anytime soon and I think I need to switch the birth control meds again or something because the ones I'm on are NOT HELPING!! I'd love to be able to know exactly when to plan for Aunt Flo's arrival...

So, I was dreading having to post with my weigh-in today. I figured I'd have a gain of 4-5 pounds. I was ready to hang my head down in shame and start berating myself about my workouts and not eating carefully enough and everything else. I'd go on about how I'll be perfect this week and not let anything get in my way (and then be a quitter when I would most likely fail.) But no, I've decided to suck it up. I didn't go to the gym, but I walked quite a bit on Friday and Saturday. Yes, my body is used to doing more, but I'll work harder this week. I also went over what I ate this past week. I did overindulge on Skittles yesterday, a personal pizza on Saturday night after a fight, and a couple of brownies on Friday and Saturday. I know why I ate what I did...I didn't think it through and was emotional. I stopped myself before I went into full-on binge mode. My other meals were on track and I'm on track today so far. I'm not giving up on myself at all. Baby steps...

The weigh-in results: 301.0. No gain, no loss. I'm shocked. I'll take it.

Day 30: One Month Down, A Lifetime to Go

2008-07-01T11:15:00.002-05:00

Since I've made it through one month of my 100-day challenge, I thought I'd do a recap of what I've accomplished and what I will focus on for the next month.

First off: I forgot to post my weigh-in for the Biggest Loser Challenge yesterday! Oops! I'm down to 301 as of Monday. On the weekend, I saw 299 on the gym scale and today, I'm down again. My scale just doesn't like to cooperate with Monday weigh-ins!

Measurements: I only have my waist measurement from the fitness expo to reveal June progress. Today, I'll be whipping out the tape to get measurements in other areas to track my progress from this point on. But, I have lost 5 INCHES(?!?!!) from my waist since then. Holy Hannah! I didn't think that was even remotely possible! The SBD does say you'll lose a lot of belly fat, so I guess cutting out too many carbs must do the trick. I have noticed my pants being a bit baggy around the waist...not so much change in my ass :)

Food tracking: I've been diligent with logging everything into SparkPeople this whole time. I do need to work on weighing some items to get better accuracy, like meats. (Reminder to self: find food scale.) I really need to work more on cutting down the fat a bit, like making sure I pick the low-fat cheeses.

Cooking: I haven't done that much...Giggleman still does the majority because the messy kitchen scares me and I just can't find the thing I'm looking for when I need it! He has promised me that he will have it clean by this weekend, and then I'll finally show him more of my cooking skills (or poison him with my lack of it!) I work till 11:15 during the week, so I really need to start preparing my own suppers and taking them to work instead of relying on him to having food ready when I get home. He still is pretty much a meat and potatoes guy, so getting him to love the veggies this past month has been a chore!! I think this is one of my biggest areas to work on for the next month.

Exercise: I'm finally a gym member again and I live right across the street from it, so I have no excuse not to go! I have skipped a few days though (bad me!) I missed a few days due to some pain (my bloody baby toe massacre from bad shoes rubbing them the wrong way and shin splints!) and I still find other excuses (the bed looks soooo good right now). I've started doing more strength training in the past week because my arms are still such weaklings. I'm also planning on going to aqua aerobics and a pump class because they look fun! So, my goal is to spend 20 days in the gym this month. Driving past it and waving on the way to work will not count :) Goal 2 is increasing the weight my arms can handle by 25 pounds on a consistent basis this month. Not too hard, eh?

Mental: I don't love all of me yet, but I love parts of me! Giggleman took a few pictures of me on Sunday and I just couldn't stand to look at them. I looked so much puffier than when I see myself in the mirror. I don't know why that is! But, I thought my legs looked good. I wish my rack would shrink some, but I like it overall (and Giggleman loves it). And, I desperately need a haircut and color. My hands aren't as puffy. I almost wanted to give up after seeing me on the camera screen. So, as you can tell, I do need to work more on my positive self-talk and love. I'll figure out some ways to work on that later :)

Other than that, I feel pretty good about the way things are going. Of course, I wish the scale would move faster, but I'm trying to just be happy with whatever number I get. This task isn't easy!!

Days 27-29: Delaying Gratification

2008-06-30T11:30:00.002-05:00

After reaching 10 pounds lost (and never to be found again!), I realized I never have determined any goals for myself rather than the general "get fit, eat well, look hotter" blah, blah. I know a lot of weight-loss bloggers pick a cool gift or something fun when they reach each milestone. I thought that would work pretty well for me. Gigglepuss loves presents anytime!!!

So, I decided to shop around online and get some ideas of things that I want. I want a new digital camera, I need a new swimsuit, I really, really want to buy a heartrate monitor, I would love to go on vacation, I always need a new book to read....but I need to save for the wedding! But, if I space my goals out, I can afford some fun splurges down the road, right? Well, I just shouldn't be trusted with a credit card, just like I shouldn't be trusted with strawberry cheesecake. (Go ahead and put 10 tons of chocolate in front of me and I won't touch it, but I loves me some cheesecake!)

Here is a list of what I ended up purchasing since Thursday:

Two pairs of workout pants from Old Navy (I still hate you for switching to online buying only for my size but I can't ignore your prices!) on sale
Two pairs of flipflops (Old Navy sale yet again!)
Two workout video sets from Jillian Michaels
Two books (Half-Assed and Where Did All the Fat Go?)
New swimsuit from Old Navy that I plan on wearing to aqua aerobics (mine is two years old and getting very thin in certain spots)
Three tops and two pairs of capris from Lane Bryant for $60 total (gotta love coupons!)

I rarely go shopping crazy, but sometimes I just can't help myself. I think that could be part or my weight issues too. I usually do pretty well and eat on plan, but when I get around some things I haven't had in awhile (pizza, the previously mentioned cheesecake), I just have to have some. I need to figure out how to control myself! The food will still be available later...you can plan to have it and still stay in calorie-range. Just don't go chowing down when you've already had your scheduled meal. And just because there is a lot left over, you don't have to finish it all up now. What is going to be the best for you...enjoying the food for the moment in your mouth or later when you beat yourself up about it? I can think of these ways to combat it now but where is my brain when the temptation is actually there? Blech, I hate thinking too deeply!

So, maybe I'll save some of these things that I bought for a reward down the road. I don't know if I'll be able to control myself knowing that they are right there and available in the closet, though!

Days 24-26: Backed Up

2008-06-27T10:38:00.002-05:00

Yay, I have a chance to post today! Giggleman's hours at work changed this week, so he has been home more in the morning. I get to see him more, which is great, but I don't get my time in on here. I'll deal :)

I'm still working hard with eating well...I'm still having issues with some sabotaging thoughts like "Why can't I eat this?" or "It's not fair!" or "I can do whatever I want" or "Just one won't hurt me". Time to reread that day in the Beck book. Yep, I'm still reading it, even though I think some of her ideas are crap. You know what is unfair? The way men can lose weight faster than women sucks! Giggleman weighed in at the gym this week...he's lost about 30 more pounds since March, and he has only cut back a bit on his food intake. WTF? I know my weight loss is going to be a LOT slower due to the conditions I fight (it'd help if I would stop typing and call the doc to renew my thyroid and PCOS scripts while I'm complaining). I also need to be vigilant on saying NO and working on doing my own cooking when the man doesn't. The kitchen is a mess at the moment and I don't want to clean it so I keep out! But then, I make other bad food choices to compensate. Sometimes I wish I could be blissfully ignorant about calorie counts, but that is what got me here, so I have to frighten myself with totals when I don't plan ahead.

Now time to move on to a sensitive subject...bowel movements. I was diagnosed with IBS back in middle school when I thought I'd die on the toilet. X-rays showed I was completely backed up...ewwww...and I given a list of foods to eat and added fiber supplements. Well, my parents did not change our foods at home, but I did drink down the gritty gross drinks full of fiber for awhile. I haven't really had any problems since then...until starting South Beach! In week 2, I noticed I hadn't done the deed for days. When I did finally go, it was a bit painful. I changed my settings on SparkPeople to check out what I was getting for fiber. OH SHIT! Yeah, I must have skimmed the part about how Phase 1 can cause some constipation due to the lack of grains and fruits and the off-limit veggies. Now that I'm putting some back in the diet, I'm just about back to normal, but I may need to add a supplement in again (I know the fiber supplement options are sooooo much better now than when I suffered as a kid). I certainly don't need poo up to my eyeballs inside me!!!

Day 20-23: Becoming a Gym Bunny

2008-06-24T12:21:00.003-05:00

I didn't get to post yesterday because I was too busy at the gym before work. That's right, we finally rejoined the gym as of last Friday. So, I spent a good bit of time on the treadmill, in the weight room, and the pool. It is terribly sad to see how much my speed has dropped since we had to quit before. The first day, I wanted to quit at 30 minutes going between 3-3.5 mph. I persevered and went another 20 minutes. I was up to 9-10 minute miles last year. But, I will regain my power if I keep going! Luckily, my strength hasn't decreased much...and my legs are very strong! I really do need to work on my upper body strength, which is what I'll focus on this week.

Time for my weekly weigh-in results! I weighed myself at the gym and was shocked at the low number. Sunday night, my Aunt Flo decided to restart again (how dare you keep visiting more than once a month without proper notice!!!) so I am up a couple pounds from Sunday, which still puts me at 302. So, 10 pounds down this month! Yeehaw!

And forget what I said about me needing my carbs so much!!! I figured out that was my TOM cravings that were deluding my thoughts. I did indulge in Ritz Bits with Peanut Butter on Saturday...extremely high carb day! But, I am feeling more fulfilled with my peanut butter and banana wrap for breakfast than with just eggs and canadian bacon or veggie patties or whatever else I was doing for the first two weeks.

Day 20-23 Totals:

Calories: 1099/1439/992/1057
Fat: 49/79/43/32
Carbs: 121/175/62/77
Protein: 45/38/101/127

Day 19: We're #2!!

2008-06-20T11:56:00.002-05:00

If you've read my previous posts, you can tell I am a fan of The Biggest Loser. While reading another person's blog (I forget whose, sorry!), I found out that the Australian episodes are available on YouTube. Score! So, I sometimes watch an episode or two after work. I noticed right away that a few gals there were bigger, maybe a bit heavier than me. In the American version, the gals are usually smaller, with the exception of Isabeau and Amber in season 4 who both weighed 290ish. Season 5 Kelly weighed around 270 I think at the beginning. Now I know there are heavier gals out and about, maybe just not pleasing to American viewers so they aren't seen, except for those headless fatty videos on the news. But based on the sizes I saw on the Australian episode, I wasn't surprised to read the article stating that Australia is now the World's Fattest Nation! The US was beat by a whole 1%....only 25% of us are obese. Interesting, no?

I have decided to head on to Phase 2 of the SBD. I'm really missing fruit and I would like to go back to a bit of breakfast or lunch grains. My brain seemed to function better on the days that my carbs went high earlier in the day. I will NOT be eating high GI/carbs at dinner or later in the evening though. The pizza night and one of the other off-plan days taught me that I feel like shit the morning after and cannot drag myself out of bed. Overall, I think the South Beach Diet has been a good thing for me to try. I've learned so much about how my body reacts to food. When I eat well, I just feel better about myself. And I'm glad I decided to track my food intake, even though counting calories isn't really required for the plan. I'm also finding it easy to track my food...I always thought it was a pain in the ass before. I don't know why! With keeping everything updated on SparkPeople, I can go back and review what works best and what days I felt better. Now, all I need is a cheer squad to keep me going :)

Day 19 Totals:

Calories: 1753
Carbs: 149 (yep, I had a sub and a cookie because I would have felt bad by saying no to the person who gave it)
Fats: 78
Protein: 120

Day 18: Loser Envy!!

2008-06-19T12:37:00.003-05:00

My scale at home has some serious issues!! Actually, I believe it has The Biggest Loser scale envy. You know what I'm talking about. On the show, the scale goes up and down before finally settling on the weight to create suspense. My scale tries the same technique even after changing batteries! The first time I step on, it gives me a low number...not extremely low, but I just don't trust it!! I jump on a second time and it gives me a huge number! My scale finally commits to a number after the third try. Today, all my weights were lower than my last weigh-in, so that's a good thing!!

Yesterday, I had a great food day until after work. Giggleman was supposed to cook white bean turkey chili when he got home. He emailed me at work and asked if he could order out instead. Grrrrrr!! So, I come home to pizza, of course! "But, I ordered you whole wheat crust!! That's healthy!!" Ummmm, yes it is, but I'm trying to stay off bread this last week. Man mentality. I was hungry, and planned on eating 2 slices, tops. I still am lacking in self-control...I had another piece because it was just sitting there prodding me to take more. But, I stopped after that piece even though there was still a lot more pizza left. Baby steps...

Day 18 Totals:

Calories: 1876
Carbs: 217 (sigh!)
Fat: 89
Protein: 84

Day 17: Pulling Out the Tape Measure

2008-06-18T12:14:00.003-05:00

This morning, I was going through my email and followed a link to LIVESTRONG.com. The site has many dares you can choose to do in order to change your life, like stop smoking, run a marathon, lose weight, etc. I was checking out the diet and weight loss portion...I went to check out a video about how to speed up your metabolism and it was pretty much just an ad for a certain personal trainer. Nothing about metabolism whatsoever...ok. Then, I click on the weight loss area and the first articles are about "4 Ways to Qualify for Gastric Bypass" and "Smart Shopping for Weight Control Pills". Under the video section, the highlighted ones were on lap band surgery. This part of the site just seems off to me! I would think I'd see more about nutrition and whatnot.

I then checked out the calculator to find my ideal weight. It asked me for my height and my wrist size. So, I had to go find my tape measure! My wrist came to 6.25 inches...my ideal is supposedly 140. If my wrist was a quarter-inch bigger, I could weigh 14 more pounds. Yikes, who knew what a difference a little bit could make. My ideal sounds a bit low to me...I was talking to my sister the other day and she said she weighed 170. She looks good and she's shorter! But, I remember weighing that in high school and I was ridiculed by some and feeling like a big cow. I know the country is getting bigger, but I'm shocked that I'd be considered pretty normal to the other kids now. Wow! Since I had the tape measure out, I figured I'd check out my waist size. I forgot to take measurements at the beginning of the month, but I did have that measurement from the health fair. Good news! I've lost two inches! Yay!

Day 17 Totals:

Calories: 1310
Carbs: 78
Fats: 34
Protein: 169

Day 16: Wow, Visitors!!!

2008-06-17T12:12:00.002-05:00

Welcome to all my new visitors yesterday! I checked my email and I was shocked that I had so many comments to moderate :) I'll be working on replying and visiting all of your sites later today. I also need to work on my blogroll! As I've mentioned in a previous post, I have soooo many blogs set up in my Google Reader. The convenience of GR has made me very lazy about actually visiting the individual sites and commenting. I'll work harder, I promise!

So anyways, yesterday was pretty ordinary. I stayed on track with eating. I got 45 minutes of exercise in---I did the Biggest Loser Cardio Max video again and this time I'm not experiencing that crazy leg pain. So, I no longer have to kill Bob :) I also drank tons of water!! I was reading through my old blog's archives and realized my key then was having a straw. On my shopping extravaganza last week I happened to buy a new water bottle that came with a straw. Voila, problem solved! It is so much easier to guzzle water at work when I don't have to tilt my head and look away from the monitor. Am I just that lazy to move or am I too devoted to working? :)

Day 16 Totals:

Calories: 1146
Carbs: 86 (I realized I'm eating some starchy veggies which I'm supposed to stay away from Phase 1. I lent the SBD book to my mom so I conveniently forgot! Oops!)
Fats: 47
Protein: 100

Day 13-15: Never Too Late

2008-06-16T12:54:00.002-05:00

I am soooo glad this weekend is over!! Well, I wouldn't mind not working another day, but my eating habits were all over the place. Let's just say, I pretty much blew off the SBD for a few meals and snacks. So, I'm going to do Phase 1 for another week. When I'm good, my body feels good and my hunger is in control. When I eat too many carbs, curbing hunger and cravings is an issue later on. Good time to read the way our body reacts to sugar and carbs in the SBD book again...he sure wasn't kidding!! I'm not shocked at all...my weight stayed exactly the same this week. I'm actually a bit surprised I didn't gain.

My big problem I always run into is "Why Can't I Have That?" I see family or friends eating something and I begin to want it! They can handle it in their body, why can't I? I have the choice to eat whatever I want, if I really wanted to, but I know what my body does with the crud and I don't like the effect. My stomach likes to be a bit of a rebellious teenager and a slow student too. But if I keep trying, it will slowly let these lessons sink in, and my brain will gain control over what I let inside. After two weeks, I'm already getting rid of the "All or Nothing" attitude. If I eat poorly for one meal, I don't let myself blow off the rest of the day. It's never too late to start again.

Day 13/14/15 Totals:

Calories: 1601/1488/1210
Carbs: 140/281 (whoa, Nelly!!!)/31
Fats: 81/19/83
Protein: 85/60/83

Off to other subjects: Giggleman and I have actually made a decision. June 13th, 2009 will be when we finally get hitched. Our budget is set for an affordable level, we agree on guest amount (finally), and have found some great vendors! At some point, our anniversary will fall on Friday the 13th, and I think something good will ward off the bad. (I've broken a wrist and an ankle on other 13ths in the past!)

Day 11-12: Leave The Headphones On!!

2008-06-13T12:31:00.002-05:00

Shopping binges do not lead to blog posting! So, I'm covering two days again :) Since I got paid yesterday, I promised my Giggleman I'd finally buy him his late Hanukkah/birthday present. Yep, I said Hanukkah...I'm that behind. Well, more like we were that strapped for cash since I switched jobs and then he was out of work. This was the first week we didn't have any other bill to catch up on except my cell phone bill. And yeah, yeah, it's all about the thought that counts but he bought me my Pretty Pretty Pink iPod Nano so I wanted to get him something nice! He's been drooling over a certain cell phone for months (he got rid of his when he couldn't make payments and the contract was up). So, he made me get up early so we could get it for him before he had to go to work. Score for making him extremely happy!

After dropping him off at work, I got to do my own shopping! You know how they say bigger girls spend more money on shoes because they can always find something that is cute and fits? I don't get that luxury! My feet are long and thin...size 11! So, it makes it hard to just go anywhere and find a pair. I desperately wanted to find some flats because I'm soooo sick of wearing my clunky heeled shoes. Payless saved the day...I found two cute pairs there for about $20 bucks. The girl suckered me into buying some no-show socks..."they won't show when you wear your new shoes because they just cover your toes!" I knew no-show when you wear sneakers, but I'd never heard of these. I got one pair in tan and one in black, both the same size, but the tan ones keep popping off my feet. The black fit perfectly. It makes no sense! I bought a new pair of capris after trying on three different styles and sizes...I decided to keep the current size I'm comfortable in although the smaller size fit too without having to suck in or lay down to zip. Even when I had lost 80 pounds in 2005/6, I didn't notice my clothes size change that much. Either that, or I just didn't think I should be wearing smaller due to my total problem with recognizing my body...I know my mom said my pants were falling off, but I thought they fit!

Yesterday was a sort of cruddy food day for me. I did good before I went to work, at least!! Usually, my row is pretty quiet since there is only one other person in it and we both usually are listening to our iPods during work. A few weeks ago, another gal switched to our evening shift and is now in our row. She is fun, but talks sooooo much! I'm all about getting to know people since I'm now permanent, so I've been listening to my iPod less and less. Anyways, she is doing some weight loss challenge thingie and she has talked about it SO MUCH in the past couple of weeks. "That trainer kicked my ass!" or "Maybe I should try Weight Watchers!" or "I blew off that pesky Jenny Craig lady and her appointment!" Yesterday, she was "dying for CornNuts!" After that, she was talking about having a craving for tacos. And potato oles. And sour cream. And my stomach started rumbling!

I ended up going to Taco Bell for my dinner break. I was going to play it nice and just get one of their Fresco chicken taco things and not eat the shell. I ordered and the gal told me that they were out the pico de gallo or whatever is in it so it'd just be lettuce...she asked if I still wanted it? Grrrrr....I ended up eating two chicken chalupas instead...I ate the shell too. I didn't want to keep up the line trying to figure out something else! And why not throw some cinnamon twists with that too. I'm weak! Then, Giggleman was hungry when I got home and wanted to go grab something. I grabbed a taco salad from Wendy's even though I wasn't really hungry. So, I had a relapse, but I'm back on track today so far!!

Day 11/12 Totals:

Calories: 1098/1950 (ouch!!)
Fats: 39/109 (head shaking!!)
Carbs: 81/150 (normal range if I wasn't doing SBD, but still!)
Protein: 107/96

Day 10--Did I Do It?

2008-06-11T23:45:00.000-05:00

Nope! I did not get to workout yesterday. But I did get my exercise in today!!! I almost talked myself out of it. I realized I needed to bring in the DVD player into my workout room. Giggleman had our player covered with DVDs...why can't he put them on the thingamabob we have for all the DVDs?? And then there were cords to deal with!!! If the DVD player worked on the TV/DVD combo we have in my workout room, I wouldn't have this issue. I sat on the bed and moaned about the mess. I stomped back into the workout room, tried the DVD player in there, and astonishingly it decided to work!!! It went goofy a few times, but I did get to finish the 5 mile challenge walk from Walk Away the Pounds. Leslie can get annoying, but she gets the job done!

Yes, I really do have a workout room. Our second bedroom is devoted to my stuff. I have my two fitness balls, all kinds of weights, one of those Firm box thingies, resistance bands, and my video collection that I alluded to in the previous post. I really have no serious excuse not to get my exercise in!!

Day 10 Totals:

Calories: 1462
Carbs: 33
Fat: 50
Protein: 114

Day 8-9: My Fitness Miracle!

2008-06-10T11:59:00.005-05:00

I'm off on my day count! Today is the 10th...I'm recapping yesterday...so I guess we'll make this post Day 8/9. Oops!

Last night, I was up a bit late watching TV after work. You know you're up too late once the infomercials start playing. Sometimes, I just have to laugh at the cheesiness of the products. Well, I finally found the piece of equipment I just HAVE to buy...NOT!!!

The Red Exerciser!! I just had to go to their website...there are three different models of this thing! I think I'll just figure out how to pimp my office chair with some resistance, use a broom to grip, and I'll be fit for life, right? Swivel my way to health! I do love my infomercials and have some great products I still use (Winsor Pilates, Turbo Jam, and the Firm), but I just won't get suckered in by this idea.

Since I've made it through my first week of Phase 1, I think it's time to do a bit of assessment. I had a nice loss for the week, but there is a big component I didn't focus on last week. You might have guessed it....EXERCISE!!!! Now, I did walk everyday, but that didn't amount to that much work. So, I'll definitely be adding that in here this week. I let my Giggleman's attitude about working out ("Oh, I'll start hardcore once we rejoin the gym") affect what I did. I had a whole month of great home workouts using my various videos, but then slacked off after I had some major pain for a week. No more of that! If I don't report back tomorrow with some exercise results, make sure to slap me around a bit!!

Another thing I'm struggling with is eating enough. You'd think a girl my size has no problems with food, right? Well, before I began this plan, I usually ate one big meal at the end of the day, sometimes lunch, and never breakfast. I didn't really notice myself getting hungry and don't eat unless something is sitting in front of me, I wander into the kitchen, or I see Giggleman munching on something and grab some of his stuff. My big meal of the day usually ended up with us eating out or Giggleman cooking me some huge portions of food. With eating regular meals this week, I'm getting full, and when I track my food (except for Saturday), I'm shocked when my calories are low. I just don't feel like I could eat more, even though I'm trying to reach 1500 calories a day. Weird! I am going to plan my daily meals in advance so that way I know I'm getting my calories and nutrients in...if I eat too low now, my body will get too adjusted, and I sure don't want a plateau down the road where I'll have to cut more to get movement.

Third goal for this week: Increase my water intake! Before this week, I had no problem getting 64 ounces of water or more in daily. Maybe it was because I drank more instead of having the mandatory snacks for South Beach. Last week, I struggled. So, I will focus on drinking at least 2 glasses of water at each meal and making sure I keep my water bottle refilled at work. Hopefully these changes will make week 2 go even better!

Monday Totals:

Calories: 1462
Carbs: 62
Fats: 75
Protein: 137

Day 6 and 7: Blah, Blah, Blah

2008-06-09T14:05:00.002-05:00

The weekend was pretty uneventful...I survived my Giggleman's birthday including a meal off plan and a piece of cake. My weight loss since last Monday is 4.6 pounds gone for good. Yay!

I'm running late, so I'm going to post my totals quickly and will have a more exciting post later. I'll start blogging about things other than food shortly, I promise!!

Day 6/7/8 Totals:

Calories: 1189/1205/2008 (birthday food!)
Fats: 37/47/95
Carbs: 61/107/217 (time to reign in again!)
Protein: 147/73/70 (when I eat the carbs, I'm forgetting the protein, I guess!)

Day 5: Off With His Head!!

2008-06-06T11:45:00.000-05:00

Fuckitty fuckwat fucker!! OK, I've wanted to get those words out of my system since yesterday afternoon. I'm good now, on to regularly scheduled programming on this blog :)

Why am I so angry? Yesterday, we had a sort of health and fitness fair at work. We could sign up for a health screening to get certain things checked, which I needed to do anyways this year for cheaper health insurance, even if the results were not optimal. We had our cholesterol, blood sugar, weight, BMI, height, blood pressure, and waist circumference checked. Oh, I'm not angry with my results at all....I was shocked that some numbers were that good! I'm very, very pissed at the guy who went over my results with me. I now can understand why some fat acceptance people get so angry!

So, I finish up with my screening and wait for a person to go over the details. They take the person into a private conference room to discuss them. At least, that's what I saw happening while I was waiting. When my name was called, I had to talk to the guy right in the open room where everybody was getting checked. What? Maybe others were called that way and I didn't notice, but it felt weird. First, he showed my blood pressure...120/63...Yay! Optimal is 119/79 or below, and the last time mine was checked when I was ill, it was higher. Does he share my glee? Nooooo! Next, he gives me my blood sugar results. I was really curious about what this number was because I'm a PCOS/Insulin Resistant chick and I was ready for a number over 100. Nope, I got 86 mg/dl...anything lower than 110 when you aren't fasting is normal. Yay yet again! Cholesterol time-total cholesterol 142-another woohoo for me! I've never heard my results about that before and I know high is pretty typical in my family, so I was happy. The guy then got a sparkle in his eye as he noticed he could finally lower the boom. My HDL cholesterol (the good kind) was low...34...I know, I'm terribly undesirable now.

Here's where I get pissed. He tells me the way to fix this number is to "stop eating the fatty foods you do like greasy hamburgers, french fries, and cake." And then, "you have to exercise for at least 15 minutes a day, which I can tell you don't now. Do you know what an exercise band is?" And he then circles 10-15 minutes on my paper and prattles on describing one without waiting for my answer. WTF is wrong with you asstard tech? I'm sure you don't have any medical background, you have no idea that I used to be in marathon training before my ankle surgery and no clue about my workouts. You're assuming I'm just a huge, lazy slob! If I was in one of the private rooms, this man would have lost a testicle. So, I'm sitting there wondering how can I harm him physically in front of everyone or give him a stern talking to without losing my job. Hmmmm, I'm coming short on possibilities.

I stew in my anger while he then goes over my weight, BMI, and waist size. He tells me "You have to start doing something about your size instead of watching TV and eating all the time." Oh, I need to rip out his tongue, gouge out his eyes, strip him naked, and duct tape him to the flagpole outside NOW. You know what? I wouldn't be pissed at all if he would have just asked, "Are you trying to do something about this issue currently?" instead of just assuming I eat deep-fried Twinkies while watching Fresh Prince of Bel Air marathons on TV Land. I don't even have basic cable right now! We could have had an honest discussion about what I'm doing and what goals I'd like to achieve. I'm thinking about complaining to management about this guy, but I don't really see a good resolution.

Other that that arse, the rest of the fair was great! I learned about a lot of healthy programs available including free fitness coaching and mental health issues (which I'll need for sure now!!) through work, picked up some free gym passes, had a wonderful massage and neck check (where I found out that I better get to a chiropractor or something for it), and a free water bottle. I was ready to burst out laughing when I walked past a booth for Jenny Craig and this lady was doing a hard sales technique on this woman that maybe had 15 pounds to lose tops. She didn't even attempt to get my attention. Shocking! There also was a WW booth there where a girl that works here told about her success and that she had dropped out a few times before she was finally ready to commit. I'm still thinking about going back after I see how I do with South Beach.

Day 5 Totals:

Calories: 1225
Fats: 48 g (finally in the normal range!!!)
Carbs: 27
Protein: 163 (I'm an overachiever!)

Day 4: Carb Explosion!

2008-06-05T11:23:00.002-05:00

I'm finally starting to feel a bit more energy this week. I'm not sure if it's the food plan that's helping or not, but I am waking up naturally earlier in the day instead of abusing the snooze button or resetting my alarm to the latest time possible without getting late for work. I feel that I'm getting better sleep also. Usually, I wake up at least 5 times a night and slug Giggleman (grrr, he won't let me use his name on my blog yet!) for snoring so loudly. I only woke up once early this AM when he was savagely clearing the forest.

Confession time: I ate a dessert with bread in it last night! I wasn't even craving it, but Giggleman bought it and I've never tried it before. The treat did absolutely nothing for me and I didn't go into a carb craving frenzy mode afterwards. I had my serving and wasn't tempted to eat more even though there was a huge amount left over. It did add 53 g carbs to my total and more fat than I'd like for yesterday and gave me a bit of a headache due to that huge influx. Overall though, I was still within a nice calorie range and even below the SparkPeople (which isn't based on SBD) recommended carb amount for the day. I'm back to full-on Phase 1 today so all is good.

Day 4 Totals:

Calories: 1619
Carbs: 74 (would have been a new low of 21 without the dessert!)
Fats: 82 g (ehhh, whatever)
Protein: 144 g (kick arse #)

Day 3: Kitchen Goddess!

2008-06-04T11:30:00.003-05:00

The South Beach Diet takes a whole lot of food planning and cooking! I haven't had to cook in two years much due to my man always doing it. But, I never was a horrible cook before then, so I thought I could handle it!! I've been checking out recipes and picking out things we'd like. Kalyn's Kitchen and the boards at 3 Fat Chicks have been a tremendous help!!

Yesterday, I decided to make two items: Mock French Toast/Pancakes (no bread involved and the recipe is the same for both) and Egg Muffins. First, I had to try to find all the items in my kitchen. Let's just say that I am going to do some reorganizing because Giggleman's way just doesn't make any sense! Plus, I had to wash measuring cups, a bowl, a whisk (I think that's the proper name...I call everything thingamabobs myself), and a griddle. I tried the Mock French Toast recipe first. Breaking the eggs and mixing all the other ingredients together were no problem. Then, it was time to cook! I have never made pancakes or french toast before on the griddle, but I've watched plenty of times. How hard could it be?

Needless to say, I made a complete mess!! I didn't know what temp to put the griddle on so I set it in the middle. I waited about 5 minutes to see if the light goes off when the griddle reaches the temp. The light still hadn't gone off but the side of the griddle felt hot, so I decided to pour on my mixture. Big Mistake! The stuff didn't want to stay nicely in one spot like I've seen it when others have cooked and it oozed all over. I only dumped a little on the griddle first, luckily. The mixture started to solidify a bit so I decided to dump on the rest. Oops!!! So, a lot of the gunk didn't stay on the griddle!! And then, the light on the griddle finally went off. Gee thanks!! The part that did stay on did taste pretty yummy although it didn't look like pancakes or french toast at the end!

I then made the Egg Muffins...I put in some celery and meat like it said. Luckily, those worked perfectly!!! They were yummy and perfectly formed and everything! I have enough for days so I won't have to work so hard on breakfast until later in the week. I so wanted to take a picture but I couldn't even find my digital camera. Guess I need to do some cleaning!

By the time I had cooked, cleaned up, and sampled the fruit of my labor, it was almost lunch time. I wasn't ready for lunch so I waited to eat until right before going to work...I threw together a salad and used Wish Bone Salad Spritzer in Red Wine for dressing. Wow, that dressing is so yummy and much easier for me to not overload. Definitely try it if you haven't already. I had a cheese stick and the SB dessert staple, sugar-free Jello. I then headed out to work, forgetting to pack a snack or dinner. My stomach punished me with loud growling, which I haven't felt or heard in a long time. When I got home, I finally had dinner. Surprisingly, I didn't have the urge to gobble the food quickly and overeat. I did have a fudgsicle afterwards and discovered I grabbed the non sugar-free one. Oops!

After I tracked my food for the day, I was VERY low on calories...not good, but not shocking since my lunch and breakfast kind of mixed together and the portions I ate of my cooking were tiny. Totals were:

Calories-877 (BAD, BAD, BAD!)
Fats: 41 g
Carbs: 33 g
Protein: 91 g

Day 2: Woohoo?

2008-06-03T10:27:00.002-05:00

First off--Weight for the Biggest Loser Challenge? Down 3 pounds from last week! 309. I still have an issue with typing that number because I told myself I'd never let myself get up above the 2oos. Oh well, I won't be there for long!

Day 2 went pretty well. I ended up going to the grocery store again to get some better items for snacks and some other stuff. I had a headache almost all day...I'm hoping it's the rainy weather/allergy type and not the food type! I feel another one coming on now and I can tell it's going to be a doozy already.

Calories: 1410 (I can't believe that's it because I felt I ate a lot more!)
Carbs: 22 (Whoa! That's a huge difference from Sunday!)
Fats: 83 (High again, I had a bit too much cheese!)
Protein: 142 (Nice! I usually struggle with that!)

So, what have I learned? Eat cheese but don't become a cheesehead, tracking my food isn't that bad, and make sure to read the whole nutrition label!

Day One--I'm Still Alive!!

2008-06-01T23:20:00.003-05:00

As I promised to myself, I jumped back on the healthy lifestyle horse today. For my food plan, I am trying the South Beach plan. I'm shocked I didn't change my mind again about that before today. My man did a bit of grumbling while I pointed out veggies in the grocery store, but he's still with me so far. I tracked all my food today, and I did pretty well for the first day. I did have a few problems though!

I ate a LOT less caloriewise than I planned. Part of the problem was I couldn't get myself out of bed until almost 2 pm!!! So breakfast ended up being lunch and I had a bigger snack later on.
I ate a veggie that I'm supposed to avoid until Phase 2. But the corn was sooooo good! Also, my fudgsicle snack was higher in carbs than my whole breakfast. According to the book, this snack is recommended, so I'm still a bit carb-confused.
According to my SparkPeople food log, I had a bit more fat than I should have. Only by 9 grams though! My carbs were lower than suggested, but of course that will happen when I'm eating lower carbs during this phase! The book didn't really state (I don't think) how much I should aim for daily, so I'll have to check that out.
I didn't fit any exercise in. I'm not counting all the pacing I did in the grocery aisles. So, I need to kick that into gear tomorrow!!

Day 1 Stats:

Weight: 310 (Dang, if I only would have kept the weight off 2 years ago, I'd only have 40 pounds left to goal!)
Calories: 1287 (as I said, a bit lower than I'm shooting for)
Fat: 69 g
Carbs: 83 g
Protein: 87 g (in the normal range according to SP)

I have to weigh in again tomorrow for the Biggest Loser Challenge (link on the sidebar), so we'll see if there is a weight change...if it doesn't move, I'm still down 2 for the week without really trying!

Sh*t or Get Off the Pot!

2008-05-27T10:39:00.002-05:00

As I've stated in my last post, I've been doing a lot of reading lately. I started a new book, The Beck Diet Solution. Supposedly, the author helps you deal with your head issues so that you'll succeed with whatever plan you'll try..."train your brain to think like a thin person!" The book has a six week plan with a new task to accomplish each day. The first day, I wrote down all the reasons I wanted to lose weight. Yesterday, my goal was to pick two plans that I will use. One plan will be what I start with, and one will be for when I decide the first isn't working. Hmmmm...so all diets do fail!! Of course they do! Most people go back to their same habits when they reach their goal and eventually put the weight back on. I know I'll have to be conscious about what I do with my body and what I put in my mouth for the rest of my life. I eat without thinking and spend too much time in front of the computer or the TV, either as part of my job or to entertain myself. I know what I should be doing in order to feel better, but I don't. I just can't live like this anymore.

Sometimes, you just need to stop talking about things and actually do something. Well, that is exactly what I'm about to do. Even in my last post, I made excuses about why not to start a new plan. Turns out, my excuse wasn't even valid. I talked to my man the next day about eating differently and he is completely ready to do it. He said he'll eat or cook whatever I want, even those dreaded vegetables. So, we're going to try starting Sunday. Why Sunday? We both get paid by then, it's the beginning of the month, and we'll have finished the foods we're going to limit by then.

I plan to focus on my health for 100 days and see what I can accomplish. During this time, I commit to tracking all that goes in my mouth, walk daily and perform "formal exercise" at least 4 days a week, and post here daily Monday-Friday. I'd like to commit to weekend posts as well, but it seems like my net connection goes wonky almost every weekend, like this Memorial weekend where I couldn't get on since Saturday afternoon. I will be assessing and making changes as I go along, and hopefully I'll have some great successes to share by September 9th!

Wishy Washy

2008-05-22T02:14:00.001-05:00

I've already mentioned my problems with procrastination. Well, another trait that causes me problems is my total wishy-washiness. I'm so sure washiness isn't a word, but deal! If I try to combat my procrastination by making a decision much ahead of the deadline, I'll find a way to talk myself out of that decision and decide to go a different route anyways. I mentioned not finishing the book Anna Karenina in high school. I had decided not to procrastinate and picked my book for summer reading as soon as we got the assignment that was due for the first day of class. The book hung out in my room ALL summer long until about ten days before school started. I never had problems whizzing through books before so it shouldn't be a problem, right? I just couldn't get through it. So, three days before class, I quickly found another shorter book, started the next day, and just barely finished my report in time for class. As in, I skipped lunch in order to type and print the darn thing.

Anyways, I said I was going to rejoin WW. This morning, I changed my mind and was determined to try eating a bit South Beachy first. Heck, it worked for PastaQueen! Plus, it is supposed to help for those with PCOS/insulin resistant/blah blah blah. I think that's what I've heard, and since I do have that problem that makes it hard to get this weight off, why not give it a whirl. By tonight, I'm not so sure again. My Giggleman does the cooking in the house, and he hates vegetables. I show him something green that isn't grapes, jello, or Skittles, and he runs and cowers in a corner. Seriously. He's also a bread fanatic! I told him about my little plan and he goes ok, but then I start reading off veggies that I'm not sure if he'll try, and he got all glassy-eyed. Of course, we could have different meals or I could cook for myself, but gosh, that is a big pain! So, this whole food thing is still a work in progress...who knows, tomorrow I may decide some totally different meal plan to try. The Wendy's Frosty Shake and Chips Diet sounds good right now!

Arrgh, the word wishy-washiness is now annoying me tremendously. Before I go all state spelling bee champ anal on my words, I better stop with this post for now! Tomorrow, come back to hear if I've made any new, lasting decisions.

%$@#%$#@%!!!

2008-05-20T01:46:00.002-05:00

The title sure sounds like my last month! My Aunt Flo has come and gone THREE times for very short visits, my energy is still zapped, and I've been busy with work. On the technology front: my cell phone decided to take an unintentional swim in a glass of pop, my pedometer decided to hate any pants I tried to hook it to, and my internet connection liked to disappear whenever I wanted to post! Oh yeah, and my DF stepped on my glasses last Sunday...making me realize how blind I really am without them!

What have I accomplished in this quiet time away from the blog?

Thought long and hard about what goals are important for me to work towards right now
Participated in Fat Bridesmaid's Pedometer Challenge (although I didn't get the last week's numbers reported due to the lovely net)
Read 10 "chick lit" books, 4 health/fitness books, 1 fat acceptance book, and halfway through Anna Karenina (I feel like I'm back in high school AP English again with the last choice...never finished it then but I WILL finish it now!)
Working hard on my 2nd week of the WOMAN Challenge
Decided to join, then changed my mind, and decided again, and then changed my mind, and decided again to rejoin Weight Watchers. If my mom will go along, I'll really start this Wednesday or Thursday...if not, I'll go on my own next week.

I also celebrated my first wedding un-Anniversary yesterday! Yep, big sigh. And nope, I did not take that day to pick a new date on the calendar yet. It WILL be next year or it's never happening.

I see that I received my first comment while I couldn't check in here! Yay! I hope you come again. I have set a new challenge for myself starting tomorrow...you'll have to come back then to see what it's about!! It will include posting here more often!!

But for now, it is past 2 AM, and the LOUD, AWFUL snoring in the bedroom is making me lose my concentration, so I will be back later!

Persistently Procrastinating

2008-04-17T12:16:00.000-05:00

So, I just took a eating profile on a website a couple days ago and my coping personality is a persistent procrastinator. Hmmmm...what does that mean? I'm not going to pay for a premium membership to find out but it sounds right. I always procrastinate before undertaking many tasks, and by the time I take action, I'm quite pressed for time or get overwhelmed by how much bigger the task has grown. Also, if someone asks me to do something for them, I usually stop what I'm doing to help...putting off my own stuff. I put unrealistic expectations on myself to get things done, and if I don't accomplish it by then, I give up. Yes, this is bad! Is there a way to cure this? I will have to find out.

I did find a new source of motivation for getting myself in shape...

Yep, I watched this whole season of The Biggest Loser, and I was rooting for a woman to win. If Ali can accomplish so much and beat the men, I can accomplish what I want too! Of course, I won't be losing weight at her pace and I sure can't fit in six hour or more workouts, but I'm going to do what I can! I'm making some plans which I will share later and looking at a few challenges to try, so definitely watch this space!

Commitment Failure!

2008-04-13T00:55:00.000-05:00

I have a huge problem...besides the size of my ass. I thoroughly suck at keeping commitments. No matter how hard I try, I just can't seem to finish what I start. Want an example? I'll give you five.

Blog Posting: Remember my first post? I claimed I wouldn't start a new blow if I couldn't commit to posting 2 or more times a week. I'm already failing with that commitment, obviously. I've even wrote a few posts down on paper when away from the computer and inspiration hit me. But, I then don't bother to post them! WTF is my problem?
Jobs: Every time I switch to a new job, I say I will keep with that company for a long time. Around the two-year mark, I end up quitting, either because there isn't a bigger opportunity for growth, I'm bored, I go nuts, or something else peaks my interest. The longest I've stayed at a job is four years---that was eight years ago and I'm on my seventh employer since then. Granted, I've had so many because I worked two jobs at the same time occasionally, but still!
College: I haven't finished either degree I started. I started my biology degree with the goal of then moving on to med school right after high school with a huge scholarship. Everything was going swimmingly until my junior year. I struggled miserably with organic chemistry, had a hard time staying awake in other classes, and began to have to leave the room to vomit whenever it came time to take a test. I also was overinvolved with other school activities, band, and work. After our band trip to Asia, I made a deal with the school to take a semester off and pull myself together. I'd get incompletes for all classes instead of failing the semester. I tried to start over again in the fall, but my learning mojo was gone. Looking back, I'm sure I was suffering from a major bout of depression that I was diagnosed with years later when I had problems resembling these, but at a much higher level. Three years ago, I went back to school again for a degree in business...I went one year, had a 4.0 GPA, ended up getting sick that summer, and couldn't pay for the next year. I never ended up going back. I originally took business so I could see if I could handle school again, my employer at the time would cover part of the tuition for that degree only, and I was also on the two-year waiting list for my first choice program (nuclear medicine and sonography). Now that I'm thinking about going back to school again, am I considering finishing one of those degrees? Nope...I'm looking into nursing, yet another departure from my original plan.
Love: I've known my fiance for almost nine years, and now we've been engaged for about two years...so that's a pretty long term commitment, right? I love him and we're best friends too. But, I sometimes wonder if he's the best for me. We don't share a ton of things in common, but as Paula Abdul sang, Opposites Attract. I'm not still holding on to those ideals I formed when I was much younger of what I wanted in a man, but it would be nice if we could find more things to do that we both enjoy. We were supposed to get married last May and had to postpone due to financial issues. We then set it for September, but then I got injured and had to have ankle surgery right around the date. I sure wasn't going to try to dance in a cast or be in pain. We still haven't set a new date. Is it due to money since he was out of work for quite a spell, my commitment issues, or something else?
Exercise/Health: I've struggled with my weight on and off for what seems like forever. Don't even ask how many times I've joined WW! It works for me (I lost 45 pounds), but I can't stick with going to meetings. Online doesn't work because then I slack off since I'm accountable to nobody but the computer and myself. At the end of January, I had made a new commitment to working out. I bought a calendar and stickers to track my progress. I was awesome for the whole month of February, but then Bob killed me in March! To clarify, I did The Biggest Loser Cardio Sculpt which Trainer Bob lead. I felt perfectly fine while doing the workout, but a few hours later, my lower back and left leg were killing me. A day later, it hurt to walk and I was limping by the end of the night. So I did the whole rest, elevation, ice, heat, etc. thing. After a week, I finally felt like myself again. But did I return to working out? Heck no! Yes, I know I'm a slacker---I don't know if I was scared of pain again or just lost the mojo. I planned to start again when my birthday hit, but then I was going through a phase of being so tired that I couldn't drag myself out of bed until an hour before I had to be at work. No amount of sleep seemed to help! I think I'll need to see a doc again to find out if my thyroid is wonked up again or something! I've started taking a new multivitamin which has helped me a bit, but I'm still dragging.

I know I need to kick this commitment issue! I'm not sure why I fail so pathetically...it's not like I send myself negative vibes to mess me up! I'm not sure if I quit before I fail or just find out that my commitments won't lead to happiness. Maybe I just get tired of trying when I've worked hard but my goals seem so far away. I think that could be a reason for #5, maybe a bit for #3, and definitely for #2. I want to achieve satisfaction, but I screw myself over by not putting in enough of an effort. I seem to lose focus when I don't achieve something quickly or easily.

To combat the problem, I am going to work on making some new goals and writing a list of why I actually want to achieve them. I will post them here, and also somewhere I can always look and remind myself why I'm trying when I lose steam. I will also break down my goals into smaller phases so the end doesn't seem so far away. And if I can't find a reason to achieve the goal, I won't commit to it!! I am going to try to make this work and keep this spot updated with results.

Accepting Ms. Fatty McPhatterson?

2008-04-03T13:20:00.000-05:00

Ok, the goal of a few posts a week didn't pan out in March, but this is a new month and I'm going to try harder!!! It's hard to write a post when life isn't cooperating to give me details to share :) I heard Shauna from Dietgirl fame say on a radio show that she tried many new activities and experiences just so she would have blog content. I hear ya, sister!

So anyways, life decided to "give me some blog content" over the weekend. I was roused by my slumber in the wee hours of Friday morning to come to the emergency room. My poor fiance (I really need to find another name for him here...whenever I type the word I keep hearing the way Elaine said it one of the Seinfeld episodes in my head and it doesn't appeal) was sent there from work due to his heart racing a mile a minute and not being able to catch his breath. When I got there, they had already done some blood work, an X-ray, hooked him up to a heart monitor, and gave him some good drugs to chill him out. Once he started falling asleep, the real fun began. The second he fully fell asleep, his oxygen levels dropped drastically and the monitors began beeping. The nurse came in and checked how he was doing, and since the noise woke him up, his stats went back to normal. As soon as he nodded off again, his oxygen levels dropped again...this happened every single time he nodded off and at one point fell to about 48 before I roused him. Can we say sleep apnea, folks?

Eventually, the doctor decided to keep him in the hospital so they could do some more testing and get this previously undiagnosed apnea issue figured out. His horrible buzzsaw of a snore now makes sense and I feel a bit bad for giving him crap about it. He was released from the hospital on Saturday afternoon with the assurance that his heart is fine, he needs to get in shape, most likely get on a CPAP machine, and has a sleep study scheduled for next week. We would have been sent home with the machine, but we're working on the financial part of things since my man has no insurance yet because he let it lapse between jobs. When COBRA wanted $400 a month to cover him until he found something else to cover, it just wasn't financially possible. If his paperwork isn't approved for assistance, we'll be paying over $500 a month for the CPAP and oxygen....OUCH!!! His plan (doctor approved) for now is to lay on his side more often when he sleeps until he either gets the CPAP or gets fitted with another device I've read about from the dentist to help his issue.

All this backstory brings me to my real topic...fat acceptance. I'm fat and I agree with treating everyone equally, but there is clear evidence that obesity can play a role in medical problems, if not now, sometime down the road. I'm working on loving myself but I don't love my outer core that much. I'm not stopping myself from doing things until I get thin, but there are some things I want to do that my body just won't let me until I get in shape. I read a few blogs pertaining to the FA topic, and I agree with some points, but I think it is wrong for certain group members to condemn others for trying to lose weight by other methods. Sure, you may be fit as a horse medically now, but that doesn't guarantee you'll avoid such bugaboos as diabetes, high blood pressure, and others later if you don't do something to circumvent it. When I get older, I don't want to have a grocery list of medications to fill every few months. In my current job, I have seen people on 10-20 or more meds, and most of these people are the overweight folks. Sorry, but this is true.

DF's stint in the hospital was his eye-opening moment that he needs to work harder to make sure he's here for years to come instead of ignoring what I've told him for awhile. So, please don't treat fat folks like they are the lowest scum of the earth! Don't deny employment (I have heard many stories) or try to avoid them like the plague (fat is not contagious!). Don't try to force diets and whatnot on them, but help them find ways to health and fitness if they ask. As everyone should know, there are many reasons why people find themselves overweight, and one should not assume that all of us eat 5,782 calories each meal and sit at the TV/computer most of the day. And FA peeps, don't shun us trying to get fit for our health. Sure, you may not agree with the methods or reasoning, but gosh, don't make the people feel lower than they may already feel about themselves for trying. Many people fail over and over again, and yo-yo dieting is hell on the body and should be avoided, but making a series of small steps can work for those who really try. People can lose weight and keep it off and most people aren't going to become assholes to fat folks once they become thin.

I'm off my soapbox now! It is safe to begin reading again!! I have more to share, but I think I'll save it for my next entry.

Show Me the Money!

2008-03-25T01:20:00.000-05:00

I'm a bit behind on getting my second post up! Oops! I guess I need to stop keeping up with everybody else through Google Reader...and maybe I should stop adding more blogs to that list. Maybe having 60-80 posts to read each day is a sign of a bigger problem. I either need to cut down my list or just say no to reading until I get my own post up.

So anyways, some good things finally happened this week. First, I'm going to be a permanent employee!! Well, I'm 99.9% sure I am, but I can't say 100% until my supervisor makes it official. In November, I made the decision to leave my full time job in sales with free medical insurance and took the chance on a temp position in the pharmacy field. I was so tired of having to deal with the phone most of the time, and I wouldn't have to take incoming calls or anything at all to do with a phone for that matter with the new job. I finally get to break away from the phone headset chain!! Plus, I still was holding a grudge about a manager who told me I didn't "sparkle" enough when I was handling PCS crud for the center to become a permanent coach...although I still got wonderful reviews from everyone else. After two years there (and seven years overall in doing customer service/sales over the phone) it was time to get out! I am so glad I made the change...I get to come to work everyday, pop on my iPod, and enter prescriptions most of the day. I have my cubicle and almost my whole row to myself, no irritating supervisor interruption (as of yet), and I'm getting paid more than I was at my other job including the sales commissions. Yay!! Next step...looking into my tuition reimbursement options so I can go back to school yet again and finish what I started.

Also, my fiance finally got a job offer and he'll be starting work tomorrow. He has been out of work since January...after 5 million interviews, one employer finally bit. That means I will get to do something fun with my next paycheck instead of worrying how to cover the bills! Maybe we'll even get to join the gym again. It isn't his dream job, but it will be fine until something better comes along. Once we get our piggy bank feeling satisfied, we'll be able to reschedule that postponed wedding. I just hope he sticks with a job for awhile...his track record since moving here isn't the greatest, but that's a whole other story.

It's getting late and my eyes are drooping, so I'll stop this post here and share more next time.

Thirty, Flirty, and Fabulous?

2008-03-19T00:47:00.000-05:00

Welcome to my little corner of the blogosphere. I had another blog that lasted almost two years before I fizzled out on keeping it updated. I've been thinking about writing again for quite awhile, but I didn't want to until I could commit to posting at least two or three times a week. I know how annoyed readers get if they are loyal followers and the blogger just disappears. I vow not to disappear this time!

So anyways, today is my birthday. Yippee skippy, right? Not just any birthday, but my big 3-0. How do I feel about that? Ehhhh...no big difference yet. I'm not one of those who thinks that life just goes downhill from here...I'm praying that things get a lot better than my 20s! I've never wished to be this age--no 13 Going on 30 daydreams here (hence the title of this post). I certainly don't feel mature or settled enough to be 30 yet...my mom had her own home, I was 7, and she had her career going when she turned my age. What have I accomplished? Hmmmm...started two different degree programs, switched to a different job 4 months ago, put off a wedding that was supposed to happen last year due to financial setbacks, and managed to gain back the weight I lost two years ago. I have stayed in the same apartment for two years and I am engaged to a guy who worships me...I have plans to start school again...and I'm working on losing weight again...guess things are looking up in some ways!

I figured my birthday and the beginning of a new decade for me would be a great time to start a new blog. I really kept on the right life track when I posted regularly...I hope this one can help me get my new goals accomplished as well! If all works out well, my 30s may be Anything But Ordinary.