Wednesday, December 31, 2008

Year End Blowout!

Happy New Year's Eve! I always stay up till midnight waiting for something to magically happen...wonderful or horrible. Like all other years, I am pretty sure nothing will happen except the clock hits midnight and all proceeds as normal. Blah! Y2K came with a whimper...that was the only time that maybe something really could have affected things!

How am I planning on spending the day? Well, I will head to work like normal, pick up Giggleman, and try to make it to my parents house before midnight and see the ball drop. We used to have a tradition of going to a movie on we just have a family get together at home with food and drink. There really hasn't been anything else to do until this year where there seems to be parties, games, and concerts galore in town. I'm a bit jealous that I have to work instead of checking one of those options out.

I'm not one for making resolutions because I have an issue with commitment and completing things. But, I have some goals for 2009. I don't know if I'll hit my final weight loss goal this year, but I have other things I want to accomplish!

  1. Dye my hair and keep up with it when the roots get nasty! I just saw a family picture from Christmas and that bit of gray that I didn't think was so noticeable? Wrong! I have gray in just one spot so bangs. This picture showed that it is a clear patch smack in the middle of my bangs. You'd think I was going for a skunk look! I'll have to get one uploaded unless my sister already has it posted on Facebook and then I'll show you all!
  2. Find wonderful medical professionals and keep up with appointments. I've said this for months now, but I'm really going to find a wonderful doctor (I swear!), psychiatrist (haven't went in 3 years since my breakdown and I know I need help again before I crack!), and chiropractor (the one I saw a couple of times last year was just a bit too granola crazy for my taste!)
  3. Workout 5 days a week for 1 hour. I don't care if it's in the gym, at home, outside, or on the freaking moon! It's a fact that I have let my workouts slide once the true cold hit this year. I will make no excuses and JUST DO IT!
  4. Open up to other people more. I have a problem with letting people into my world...even my parents think I'm a mystery. When I get frustrated, I end up bottling up...and then exploding after I've hit maximum capacity. Giggleman gets showered with the spray and I know it's hurting him. (Sorry!) I haven't told family I'm trying to lose weight...I don't tell Giggleman what bothers me...I don't share deep thoughts with anyone.  I started blogging again to have a way to get the bad and good out into the open. Well, when it got really bad...I went to my own dark hole and shut down. (You may have noticed the quiet in the past couple of months.) I had my explosion last week and I'm slowly crawling out of my hole, and I will work to keep that from happening yet again down the road. If I don't let people in, how will they ever know when I need help?
  5. Find new experiences. I'm BORED! I need to find something that will excite me again. Taking the pharmacy class for work opened up my brain again. I don't know if my experience will lead me to school again, travel, a new gym class, back to playing music, or something else. But, I will explore and find something!
  6. Buy a bike. When I was younger, I rode for miles and miles and it helped clear my head. There are so many bike trails close to my home and I'm ready to get out there again!
  7. Stick with WW. I will not skip a meeting this year...I don't care if I ate a whole water buffalo during the week! I will show up and stay accountable.
  8. I will prepare dinners 2-3 days a week. I rely on Giggleman too much since the kitchen is usually a fright after he makes a masterpiece. I have plenty of cookbooks, and I'm ready to try again. First, I will help him clean the mess in there so I don't run out screaming :)

I also have one stretch goal: Hit 199 by my wedding in September. Heck, I'd be satisfied with 225, but onederland would be nice!

Crap, time for work so I can't elaborate more! I'll share more tomorrow!

Tuesday, December 30, 2008

Is the Year Over Yet?

I am so behind with reading blogs this month!  Studying, eye issues, and my own blah attitude have really slowed me down. Over the weekend, I noticed my reader was up to 1000+...some posts are back from Thanksgiving. Yikes! I'm slowly working my way down the list, and hope to be clear before the New Year.

The first BLBE is done and I'm ready for a short break until the next one! I didn't come close to my original goal, but I did shed 4% of my body weight. I can only imagine what I would have gained without WW and the challenge over the holidays. I hope to do so much better in 2009 now that Giggleman is using his force for good again instead of "Who Cares" evil. Unfortunately, his success when on track also annoys the hell out of me. I can't help it...I always want to be the best, and when I try and can't, my spirit deflates. As I mentioned, he had only gained 0.2 pounds since his last time at WW. In the past week, he ate much more crap than I did and didn't workout (unless you call last minute shopping on Christmas Eve enough exercise for the week) and had an amazing loss. I was very mindful of my food and got in more workout time than usual but my loss wasn't as wonderful. My mind starts sending signals "If you can't be the best, why are you trying?" With the way my body hasn't reflected much of my effort since September, it is hard to fight that message. I am my own worst enemy, but I refuse to quit this time. I'm on a roll of actually finishing what I started right now, so I just have to keep plugging away. I know my journey will be different than others on this's just hard to deal with sometimes, you know?

Enough with the gloom...I have some fun plans for this spot that I'll incorporate beginning with 2009 including back to regular posting and VIDEO! Yep, I'm tearing off my mask and will be jumping into Vlogging or VBlogging or whatever the cool kids call it. I'm finally ready to get rid of the anonymity around here. Yay! So, keep your eyes peeled!

Wednesday, December 24, 2008

It's A Christmas Miracle!!

The reports you may have heard about me were greatly exaggerated. I am alive! I got so busy with the last week before my pharmacy exam that I didn't post at all. Sorry! I took my test last Monday, AKA THE COLDEST DAY ON EARTH!  It took over a half hour to scrape ice off the windows and then wait for the inside of the car to defrost too and I think the wind chill made it 40 below.  There were a few questions on the test that made me go "WTF, I recognize the word what and that's about it!" Overall, I thought it wasn't difficult.  The exam rules to follow are extremely insane. I had to be fingerprinted before I began the test. If I left the room and came back, I'd have to be fingerprinted again. I had a picture taken there as well as being filmed the whole time I was testing. Geez, now how am I going to sneak my smarter twin I cloned the day before to finish the test for me? I was handed a paper saying results wouldn't be available online until December 29th afterwards. Well, I happened to peek this morning. No, I can't wait for anything except Christmas presents! I PASSED!! My actual score isn't available and is being sent by mail, but I will not have to take the test again! Woohoo!! The word passed was even in green just in case I forgot how to comprehend a full sentence. So, my life can go back to normal again.

So, since I finished over a week ago, why didn't I post again? Three words: Oozing Pink Eye! On the Friday before my test, my eye started feeling very scratchy and I thought an eyelash got in there. So, I rubbed...and rubbed...and rubbed. Yes, I know rubbing is the worst thing you can do! When I woke up Saturday morning, I could barely pry my left eye open and the pain was unbearable. Once I did get it open, I noticed the lovely red hue. Just what I needed before my big exam!!  I couldn't bear to look at the light, read, or do much of anything else. On Sunday, I made my nurse mom take a look at it. She was repulsed and went and bought me some OTC eye drops which seemed to help. I was still a little red on Monday, but it finally cleared up completely by Wednesday. This Saturday afternoon, the pink eye came back again! I accused Giggleman of farting on my pillow to cause my agony (the movie Knocked Up taught me more than one thing!) I whipped out the drops again and was fine again by Tuesday. I'm sure this has to be some cold or sinus related issue, but it is really annoying! If the pink eye flares again this weekend, I'll go to the doctor or yank out my left eyeball.

Weight loss front: I totally missed a weigh-in due to studying madness and eye misery, but I was down 2.2 pounds on Saturday. Woohoo! Giggleman also decided to rejoin WW again with me (he hadn't shown up in over two months because he kept conveniently having to work on the one day that works for both of us.) He had only gained 0.2 pounds since then. Grrrr, I hate male metabolism. If he really put his mind to it, weight would be dripping off him. I only have to look at a bowl of ice cream or french fries to gain weight! We'll see how long his recommitment to health lasts :)

Thursday, December 4, 2008

Oops, I Did it Again!

I'm late with my update here!! I swear, every time I say I will do something, I tend to do the opposite. Yes, I am my own saboteur. I must figure out how to solve that issue. No time today though! I had planned to post my Black Friday tips (#1: Avoid it altogether!)  Alas, Giggleman forced me to go with him, so I didn't get to write them and mock those who were out there at 3 AM! Shockingly, most stores were well organized this year except for Toys 'R Us. Why he wanted to go in there just for a great deal on batteries is beyond me...but when the line to check out runs through 90% of the store, it's time to give up!

Weigh in from Saturday: up 2 pounds. It wasn't totally unexpected due to Thanksgiving, but seriously, I thought I did pretty well! One of the other culprits came out of hiding earlier this week...Aunt Flo still has lovely timing. I should really recognize the warning signs (aka last post bathroom issues), but I still get shocked. I really should have known...but it seems like she just left a week ago. I guess her visit is actually almost on time for once by looking at my archives. Wow! So, I'm hoping for a lower number on Saturday. Either way, I am cracking the whip on myself and am planning every meal for the next week and will not budge when Giggleman begs to do something else. Seriously, he is one of my biggest obstacles! He tries to be supportive...sometimes... Yeah, something needs to be done but I'm not ready to start spilling my guts about that yet.

Time for me to finish getting ready for class, so I'll post more later. Less than two weeks before my huge pharmacy test, so I'll be here more often after I'm done!