Day 37: Planning to Succeed

I am trying a new program that is supposed to make adding pictures and videos to my blog so much easier.  If it works, you'll be seeing a lot more fun things from me here in future posts :)

So, as I mentioned in my last post, I have been slacking off on exercising for too many days.  Why do I always put off doing things that would be good for me?  I have not figured out that answer, but I sure know how to make enough excuses. I am not putting off moving one more day, despite my cramping.  If I remember correctly, working out seemed to help ease that pain before.  If I don't post with workout results tomorrow, you're allowed to bitchslap me in the comments.  I've also made a plan to check out a class that interests me this week called Pump.  It is supposed to have weight training and cardio in it and it sounds a lot like a class I used to love at my old gym.  The reason why I no longer go to that place is because the class kept on getting canceled for the day I could go.  No answers why...it was always well-attended!  If I can't get myself back on track using my own determination, I will do the unthinkable....get a personal trainer.  I can't so easily back out of a REAL appointment, I would feel bad about wasting money, plus a good one will know how to push me to achieve my best.

I've also pulled out the good ol' Beck book again.  I admit, I stopped reading after Day 14 or so.  Amazingly, some of the assignments after that day make a lot of sense.  One assignment was to plan out a whole week of meals.  I'm also supposed to write down if I eat more than I planned or added any foods and how I felt and blah, blah, blah.  This task frightened me because I am not much of a planner (can ya tell?)  Well, I say I'm going to plan and then I throw away the plan.  I was very successful when I followed the meal plan/grocery list with Ediets a few years ago.  Why did I stop doing that?  It's too long of a story for now, but maybe I'll write about that time of my life later.  I also didn't think I needed to be so structured about eating right.  Errrr, I think I do.  I honestly am going to work out a meal plan for me and have it ready by the weekend.  I'd start my plan earlier this week, but shopping and cooking will just keep me away from the gym, which is my first priority.  I will not let Giggleman convince me to throw my dinner plans out the window, like I did too often last week.  We'll see how that works.

It is way too late and I don't want to use the tired excuse for tomorrow's...ummmm make that later today's workout so I'll be back with more news later!

Days 31-36: The Blob Returns?

I am typing today on our new laptop! I don't have to use our dumb desktop anymore. Yay! Well, I really don't have a problem with the other computer, I just really hated sitting at the desk using it. We never got around to buying a nice computer chair...the temporary folding chair was a literal pain in my ass. Then, Giggleman got the bright idea to move the computer into the bedroom and we could sit on the bed or lay down and use it (his favorite way)....NO!!! NO!! NO!! I've tried to do it his way for two months and I couldn't stand it anymore. Plus, the desktop couldn't handle all the applications I usually used for photos and games and whatnot. So, we bought one with a bit of his government stimulus check plus his regular pay. The rest went into our wedding fund, no worries!!

Since I posted last, I have been a workout slacker. I have not went to the gym for the past 5 days. I was planning on going Saturday, but then Giggleman wanted to go to an early showing of Hancock (I liked it!), and then my mom decided to throw a belated 4th of July picnic since my sister wasn't at big family picnic on Friday. She sure missed out on some verbal fireworks at that one...wish I would have missed that one too! Sunday, I set the alarm to go to the gym but woke with a horrible headache and my stomach in agony. By the end of the day, the pain decided to focus on my girlie parts down there. Fuck me! I'm pretty darn sure that it must be ovulation cramping, possibly a reason why I was cranky, craving sugar, and lashing out at my poor Giggleman various times over the weekend. I am NOT ready for my monthly visitor again anytime soon and I think I need to switch the birth control meds again or something because the ones I'm on are NOT HELPING!! I'd love to be able to know exactly when to plan for Aunt Flo's arrival...

So, I was dreading having to post with my weigh-in today. I figured I'd have a gain of 4-5 pounds. I was ready to hang my head down in shame and start berating myself about my workouts and not eating carefully enough and everything else. I'd go on about how I'll be perfect this week and not let anything get in my way (and then be a quitter when I would most likely fail.) But no, I've decided to suck it up. I didn't go to the gym, but I walked quite a bit on Friday and Saturday. Yes, my body is used to doing more, but I'll work harder this week. I also went over what I ate this past week. I did overindulge on Skittles yesterday, a personal pizza on Saturday night after a fight, and a couple of brownies on Friday and Saturday. I know why I ate what I did...I didn't think it through and was emotional. I stopped myself before I went into full-on binge mode. My other meals were on track and I'm on track today so far. I'm not giving up on myself at all. Baby steps...

The weigh-in results: 301.0. No gain, no loss. I'm shocked. I'll take it.

Day 30: One Month Down, A Lifetime to Go

Since I've made it through one month of my 100-day challenge, I thought I'd do a recap of what I've accomplished and what I will focus on for the next month.

First off: I forgot to post my weigh-in for the Biggest Loser Challenge yesterday! Oops! I'm down to 301 as of Monday. On the weekend, I saw 299 on the gym scale and today, I'm down again. My scale just doesn't like to cooperate with Monday weigh-ins!

Measurements: I only have my waist measurement from the fitness expo to reveal June progress. Today, I'll be whipping out the tape to get measurements in other areas to track my progress from this point on. But, I have lost 5 INCHES(?!?!!) from my waist since then. Holy Hannah! I didn't think that was even remotely possible! The SBD does say you'll lose a lot of belly fat, so I guess cutting out too many carbs must do the trick. I have noticed my pants being a bit baggy around the waist...not so much change in my ass :)

Food tracking: I've been diligent with logging everything into SparkPeople this whole time. I do need to work on weighing some items to get better accuracy, like meats. (Reminder to self: find food scale.) I really need to work more on cutting down the fat a bit, like making sure I pick the low-fat cheeses.

Cooking: I haven't done that much...Giggleman still does the majority because the messy kitchen scares me and I just can't find the thing I'm looking for when I need it! He has promised me that he will have it clean by this weekend, and then I'll finally show him more of my cooking skills (or poison him with my lack of it!) I work till 11:15 during the week, so I really need to start preparing my own suppers and taking them to work instead of relying on him to having food ready when I get home. He still is pretty much a meat and potatoes guy, so getting him to love the veggies this past month has been a chore!! I think this is one of my biggest areas to work on for the next month.

Exercise: I'm finally a gym member again and I live right across the street from it, so I have no excuse not to go! I have skipped a few days though (bad me!) I missed a few days due to some pain (my bloody baby toe massacre from bad shoes rubbing them the wrong way and shin splints!) and I still find other excuses (the bed looks soooo good right now). I've started doing more strength training in the past week because my arms are still such weaklings. I'm also planning on going to aqua aerobics and a pump class because they look fun! So, my goal is to spend 20 days in the gym this month. Driving past it and waving on the way to work will not count :) Goal 2 is increasing the weight my arms can handle by 25 pounds on a consistent basis this month. Not too hard, eh?

Mental: I don't love all of me yet, but I love parts of me! Giggleman took a few pictures of me on Sunday and I just couldn't stand to look at them. I looked so much puffier than when I see myself in the mirror. I don't know why that is! But, I thought my legs looked good. I wish my rack would shrink some, but I like it overall (and Giggleman loves it). And, I desperately need a haircut and color. My hands aren't as puffy. I almost wanted to give up after seeing me on the camera screen. So, as you can tell, I do need to work more on my positive self-talk and love. I'll figure out some ways to work on that later :)

Other than that, I feel pretty good about the way things are going. Of course, I wish the scale would move faster, but I'm trying to just be happy with whatever number I get. This task isn't easy!!

Days 27-29: Delaying Gratification

After reaching 10 pounds lost (and never to be found again!), I realized I never have determined any goals for myself rather than the general "get fit, eat well, look hotter" blah, blah. I know a lot of weight-loss bloggers pick a cool gift or something fun when they reach each milestone. I thought that would work pretty well for me. Gigglepuss loves presents anytime!!!

So, I decided to shop around online and get some ideas of things that I want. I want a new digital camera, I need a new swimsuit, I really, really want to buy a heartrate monitor, I would love to go on vacation, I always need a new book to read....but I need to save for the wedding! But, if I space my goals out, I can afford some fun splurges down the road, right? Well, I just shouldn't be trusted with a credit card, just like I shouldn't be trusted with strawberry cheesecake. (Go ahead and put 10 tons of chocolate in front of me and I won't touch it, but I loves me some cheesecake!)

Here is a list of what I ended up purchasing since Thursday:

1. Two pairs of workout pants from Old Navy (I still hate you for switching to online buying only for my size but I can't ignore your prices!) on sale
2. Two pairs of flipflops (Old Navy sale yet again!)
3. Two workout video sets from Jillian Michaels
4. Two books (Half-Assed and Where Did All the Fat Go?)
5. New swimsuit from Old Navy that I plan on wearing to aqua aerobics (mine is two years old and getting very thin in certain spots)
6. Three tops and two pairs of capris from Lane Bryant for $60 total (gotta love coupons!)

I rarely go shopping crazy, but sometimes I just can't help myself. I think that could be part or my weight issues too. I usually do pretty well and eat on plan, but when I get around some things I haven't had in awhile (pizza, the previously mentioned cheesecake), I just have to have some. I need to figure out how to control myself! The food will still be available later...you can plan to have it and still stay in calorie-range. Just don't go chowing down when you've already had your scheduled meal. And just because there is a lot left over, you don't have to finish it all up now. What is going to be the best for you...enjoying the food for the moment in your mouth or later when you beat yourself up about it? I can think of these ways to combat it now but where is my brain when the temptation is actually there? Blech, I hate thinking too deeply!

So, maybe I'll save some of these things that I bought for a reward down the road. I don't know if I'll be able to control myself knowing that they are right there and available in the closet, though!

Days 24-26: Backed Up

Yay, I have a chance to post today! Giggleman's hours at work changed this week, so he has been home more in the morning. I get to see him more, which is great, but I don't get my time in on here. I'll deal :)

I'm still working hard with eating well...I'm still having issues with some sabotaging thoughts like "Why can't I eat this?" or "It's not fair!" or "I can do whatever I want" or "Just one won't hurt me". Time to reread that day in the Beck book. Yep, I'm still reading it, even though I think some of her ideas are crap. You know what is unfair? The way men can lose weight faster than women sucks! Giggleman weighed in at the gym this week...he's lost about 30 more pounds since March, and he has only cut back a bit on his food intake. WTF? I know my weight loss is going to be a LOT slower due to the conditions I fight (it'd help if I would stop typing and call the doc to renew my thyroid and PCOS scripts while I'm complaining). I also need to be vigilant on saying NO and working on doing my own cooking when the man doesn't. The kitchen is a mess at the moment and I don't want to clean it so I keep out! But then, I make other bad food choices to compensate. Sometimes I wish I could be blissfully ignorant about calorie counts, but that is what got me here, so I have to frighten myself with totals when I don't plan ahead.

Now time to move on to a sensitive subject...bowel movements. I was diagnosed with IBS back in middle school when I thought I'd die on the toilet. X-rays showed I was completely backed up...ewwww...and I given a list of foods to eat and added fiber supplements. Well, my parents did not change our foods at home, but I did drink down the gritty gross drinks full of fiber for awhile. I haven't really had any problems since then...until starting South Beach! In week 2, I noticed I hadn't done the deed for days. When I did finally go, it was a bit painful. I changed my settings on SparkPeople to check out what I was getting for fiber. OH SHIT! Yeah, I must have skimmed the part about how Phase 1 can cause some constipation due to the lack of grains and fruits and the off-limit veggies. Now that I'm putting some back in the diet, I'm just about back to normal, but I may need to add a supplement in again (I know the fiber supplement options are sooooo much better now than when I suffered as a kid). I certainly don't need poo up to my eyeballs inside me!!!