Thursday, August 7, 2008

Drinking Too Much Kool-Aid

I'm 95% sure I'm going to do it.  I keep trying to convince myself I don't need them, but external forces keep persuading me that I'm wrong.  Maybe I've been fed too much of their Kool-Aid and now I'm convinced to become another member of their cult.  But, I have been a member before and I've succeeded so it can't be that bad. Ohhhhh, I can't decide what to do!

By now you're probably wondering, "What the hell are you rambling about, woman?"  Well, I'm considering joining Weight Watchers again.  I keep telling myself I can make these "lifestyle changes" on my own...I already know the points program...I don't need to pay just to get recognition from others.  Or, why not just try the online program if I'm feeling like I need it?  The problem is, if I don't have a face-to-face encounter, I end up slacking off.  Why not get some friends and family members to meet me at the scale each week for weigh-ins?  They can give me a pat on the back for a job well done.  OMG, I do not want them knowing my weight!  Last week, I went over to my mom's house for her birthday and my sister asked "Have you been losing weight?"  My first response was to adamantly shake my head no with a mortified expression on my face.  But, we know the truth...I have lost some weight.  But, I don't want her watching me for those changes.  She'll start looking for me to eventually fail, like I have in the past.  That's what my head tells me anyways.  And of course, Giggleman knows I'm working on my goals and supports me, but he loves me no matter what weight I am and doesn't stop me when I have the urge to slack off. 

Weight Watchers has given me the accountability I desperately needed in the past.  And, I love the little stickers, key chains, other doohickeys, and cheers from strangers when I succeed.  When I thought about filling myself up too much, I stopped myself by remembering I had a meeting coming up.  Why should I have to pay for that though?  Can't I reward myself?  Isn't the support from the HYC, blog readers, and people on other forums enough? Three years ago, online support was all I needed.  In the past, I could do it all by myself, but as I get older, each pound gets harder to shed, and I need all the support I can.  I know I can do it on my own for a little while.  But then, I get a little sloppy...and that's when I need the extra push.  Also, a lot of the successful weight-loss bloggers are WW members.  So, I get more encouragement to join by reading about their successes.  But, I've also read those who developed eating disorders or had old ones kick in again when on WW.  I don't think I'll go nuts and start starving myself.  So, I think I'm joining.  Unless my mind gives me another reason not to in the next couple of hours.  Sigh.


Anonymous said...

I've never joined WW, but if you think its going to help...why not try it at least for a short while? See if it gives you the kick you need.

For me, finding an online community thats watching me and encouraging...NOT waiting for me to fail, has helped a lot. I know exactly what you mean when you wanted to shake your head no when your sister asked if you'd lost weight. Its kind of an invitation for others in the family to say "oh, so she thinks she's losing weight? Lets see how long that lasts...I'll give her an hour before she's digging into the cake." (Yeah...been there, thought that...)

Anyway, do what YOU think will work. The worst that can happen is that you realize you don't need it and you continue on your quest without WW. The other option is that you find your groove and do well with it. Right?!

Anonymous said...

SOunds like WW is just the thing for you. I really didn't read any mention of WHY you don't want to go beside $$, but how much is your health worth?

You made it sound that for you, the alternatives to WW have more negatives than not.

Do what you know will help you!! You've done it in the past, you know what to expect. Go for it girly. If you hate it, you can always stop! Give it a shot, sounds like you really want to!

Good Luck! =)

Anonymous said...

Oh man, I've actually been thinking the same thing. I love to pretend that I have the knowledge and willpower but I get a big "FAIL" in that department.

I say do it!

Lynn said...

I've found Weight Watchers to be very helpful for me, but we also have a girl in our meeting who's been a WW member since 1972 (on and off again) and she's still extremely overweight. For some people it works, and for some people it doesn't.

I do advise that you "shop around" for a leader you're comfortable with, and a group you feel welcome in, those things can make a big difference.