Thursday, August 14, 2008

I Am So Petty!

For those wondering, I have not joined WW just yet.  I am going to try it on my own for a bit longer and make a decision when out of control hormones aren't playing a part.  I'm going to keep up my gym commitment a bit longer before I change it up.

In other sister is now engaged!  We knew it was coming but she didn't think it would happen until this winter.  Her fiance asked my parents officially last week and the family had to keep it quiet until he popped the question.  They had already had wedding chats and talked about colors and where to have and blah blah blah beforehand.  I think he's a good match for her in most ways (maybe a bit more controlling than I'd expect her to like), but she is a lot less crazy and actually has stuck with a job under his influence.

Anyways, I got a message from her today saying she was home sick and to call her back when I get a chance.  When I call, she asks me to be her personal attendant.  I didn't know what to say.  She is my MOH.  She is also performing a song (after putting up a fuss about which song we wanted her to do, wanting the other song we picked, then not wanting that one, and going back to the first again).  So, I'd be the go and fetch girl and make her feel like the star...a part I've played too often in her life.  I kind of thought she would choose me to do something else.  I didn't think I'd be her MOH since there were rumors about having 1 or no attendants.  Then, I found out my other sisters will both be in the wedding party.  Her MOH will be my youngest sister who just turned 16.  So, I feel like the ugly stepchild once again...I'm not good enough for her...I'm not included yet again...sigh.  I should be happy that she wants me to do anything but I guess I'm just being petty.  I know I'm being stupid, but I just can't stop crying about it. 

Arrrgh, I hate this!  All I can think about is how I feel snubbed.  It's her wedding...I should just smile and be happy for her.  I just keep thinking it's because of something I did/didn't do and because she doesn't want a blob up front.   I'm being all negative and I need to stop.  I'm going to walk to clear my head and stop thinking about this!!


Jenn said...

I'm really sorry :( I would feel the same way if it were my sister. I would understand if you were having a very small wedding party, or none at all, but to include some sisters and not all? That's wrong. I know it's her wedding, but it's still wrong.

Melinda said...

It's always hard when you're not picked to really participate. I thought the MOH is like a personal attendant. You could tell her that you don't want to run the errands, but then you would feel even more left out. Cheer up. At least you won't have the pressure to fit into a style of dress that wouldn't suit you. You get to pick out your own dress!