Friday, June 6, 2008

Day 5: Off With His Head!!

Fuckitty fuckwat fucker!! OK, I've wanted to get those words out of my system since yesterday afternoon. I'm good now, on to regularly scheduled programming on this blog :)

Why am I so angry? Yesterday, we had a sort of health and fitness fair at work. We could sign up for a health screening to get certain things checked, which I needed to do anyways this year for cheaper health insurance, even if the results were not optimal. We had our cholesterol, blood sugar, weight, BMI, height, blood pressure, and waist circumference checked. Oh, I'm not angry with my results at all....I was shocked that some numbers were that good! I'm very, very pissed at the guy who went over my results with me. I now can understand why some fat acceptance people get so angry!

So, I finish up with my screening and wait for a person to go over the details. They take the person into a private conference room to discuss them. At least, that's what I saw happening while I was waiting. When my name was called, I had to talk to the guy right in the open room where everybody was getting checked. What? Maybe others were called that way and I didn't notice, but it felt weird. First, he showed my blood pressure...120/63...Yay! Optimal is 119/79 or below, and the last time mine was checked when I was ill, it was higher. Does he share my glee? Nooooo! Next, he gives me my blood sugar results. I was really curious about what this number was because I'm a PCOS/Insulin Resistant chick and I was ready for a number over 100. Nope, I got 86 mg/dl...anything lower than 110 when you aren't fasting is normal. Yay yet again! Cholesterol time-total cholesterol 142-another woohoo for me! I've never heard my results about that before and I know high is pretty typical in my family, so I was happy. The guy then got a sparkle in his eye as he noticed he could finally lower the boom. My HDL cholesterol (the good kind) was low...34...I know, I'm terribly undesirable now.

Here's where I get pissed. He tells me the way to fix this number is to "stop eating the fatty foods you do like greasy hamburgers, french fries, and cake." And then, "you have to exercise for at least 15 minutes a day, which I can tell you don't now. Do you know what an exercise band is?" And he then circles 10-15 minutes on my paper and prattles on describing one without waiting for my answer. WTF is wrong with you asstard tech? I'm sure you don't have any medical background, you have no idea that I used to be in marathon training before my ankle surgery and no clue about my workouts. You're assuming I'm just a huge, lazy slob! If I was in one of the private rooms, this man would have lost a testicle. So, I'm sitting there wondering how can I harm him physically in front of everyone or give him a stern talking to without losing my job. Hmmmm, I'm coming short on possibilities.

I stew in my anger while he then goes over my weight, BMI, and waist size. He tells me "You have to start doing something about your size instead of watching TV and eating all the time." Oh, I need to rip out his tongue, gouge out his eyes, strip him naked, and duct tape him to the flagpole outside NOW. You know what? I wouldn't be pissed at all if he would have just asked, "Are you trying to do something about this issue currently?" instead of just assuming I eat deep-fried Twinkies while watching Fresh Prince of Bel Air marathons on TV Land. I don't even have basic cable right now! We could have had an honest discussion about what I'm doing and what goals I'd like to achieve. I'm thinking about complaining to management about this guy, but I don't really see a good resolution.

Other that that arse, the rest of the fair was great! I learned about a lot of healthy programs available including free fitness coaching and mental health issues (which I'll need for sure now!!) through work, picked up some free gym passes, had a wonderful massage and neck check (where I found out that I better get to a chiropractor or something for it), and a free water bottle. I was ready to burst out laughing when I walked past a booth for Jenny Craig and this lady was doing a hard sales technique on this woman that maybe had 15 pounds to lose tops. She didn't even attempt to get my attention. Shocking! There also was a WW booth there where a girl that works here told about her success and that she had dropped out a few times before she was finally ready to commit. I'm still thinking about going back after I see how I do with South Beach.

Day 5 Totals:

  • Calories: 1225
  • Fats: 48 g (finally in the normal range!!!)
  • Carbs: 27
  • Protein: 163 (I'm an overachiever!)


PharmacistMike said...

I am so sorry to hear about your horrible experience at your health fair. As a pharmacist,a person that has conducted thousands of bone density screening and who owns a company based on preventive health screenings it sickens me to hear that you had this experience. While I am stiving to bring the availability of preventive screenings to as many people as possible there are asses like the one you had ruining the experience for others. I guess you found a real jerk and this one was stupid on top of it.

I grew up working in a full service gas station and people would pull in and point their noses up in the air towards me. I just figured that they were asses, then I noticed a lot of them had various alumni stickers, with the Latin sayings, in their back windows. I would come back to the window and say, "I didn't realize the saying for ______ University was _______." It was great to the astonished look on their face. I'd then say, "Yeah, I can't believe 3 years of Latin has helped me out so much, it's really helped me breeze thru pharmacy school.

Perhaps you should have said, "Yeah, do you know the numbers for a marathon?" and then punched him 26.2 times in the forehead.

Better luck next time.